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Fair Basketball rules

New basketball regulations for different height categories
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Players may only participate in their respective height category. Each height catergory stipulates a suitable height of the basket above the playing court. This makes basketball a much fairer game for all to enjoy.

Height categories are as follows:

1. Giant: Above 7ft 2. Tall : 6ft to 7ft 3. Average: 5ft to 6ft 4. Short: 4ft to 5ft 5. Midget: 3ft to 4ft 6. Super-midget: Below 3ft

ilawrow, May 03 2001


       Could this be implemented technologically? For instance, when a 7-foot player has possession of the ball and may shoot, the basket goes up; when the 5-foot player has the ball the basket comes back down. More equalizers: if a coach is cited for unsportsmanlike conduct, the hoop on his team's basket begins to wriggle about whenever they try to shoot. If a player intentionally fouls another, he must grease the soles of his shoes. If a fan throws anything onto the court he (or she, but I bet it's mostly the guys) must hop from one basket to the other with his pants around his ankles, avoiding the players as best he can, until the ref releases him by saying "Ollie-Ollie-In-Free!" Also, just to add even more interest, the refs may at their discretion replace the regulation basketball with one that has a 2-kilo steel ball rolling around inside. At that point I might actually watch a basketball game.
Dog Ed, May 03 2001


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