Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fake artificial leg

Not a disability... ..
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
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It has been noted that those who use prosthetic lower limbs have a certain advantage when it comes to, for example, queueing. More often than not, a pained expression and constant shifting of weight onto a walking stick will be enough to make many gatekeepers - however seemingly fearsome - so uneasy at the obvious presence of disability to allow a little delicate queue-jumping to occur; and even better, other able-bodied queuers raise no objection to such proceedings.

Thus BorgCo have designed and manufactured a superbly engineered fake artificial leg. This rigid casing clips neatly and comfortably over a real, normal functional leg, and is cunningly coloured and textured to look not quite lifelike, with a prominent metal "hinge" at the ankle.

Use of a small, soft plastic block inside the heel of the corresponding shoe produces a convincing slight limp and awkwardness when walking, adding to the authenticity of the appearance.

If the "leg" is tapped with the optional complementary walking stick (available for a modest extra charge) a distinctive hollow, knocking sound is emitted - by the stick. But it sounds like it comes from the leg, of course.

8th of 7, Sep 27 2020

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       For you, is there a head to go with it? One that contains an actual brain instead a sponge that's been dipped in a bowl of bat guano would be useful. [+] For the idea that the bat we sent probably wrote for you.
xenzag, Sep 27 2020

       Cheaper option: just remove your leg. No on-going maintenance, lighter and easier to transport (the non- existent leg, that is; the rest of the person, not so much...).
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 27 2020

       // a special place in Hell reserved for people who fake a disability for pity’s sake. //   

       Quite right, that's contemptible, despicable and disgusting.   

       What about the ones who do it from simple selfishness, laziness and arrogance, though ? That's all right, shirley ?
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020

       Further modification I just thought of: once the artificial artificial leg is clamped on tight, it doesn't come off. Ever.
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 28 2020

       We are familiar with "Jake the Peg", but our speciality is Barbershop ... as you would expect, we're superb at close-harmony singing ...   

       // they’re queued up for your tour of Gettysburg. //   

       They don't exactly have a choice; the shackles and chains keep them in line quite nicely. We won't make that mistake again, after the last lot ran away ...
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020

       <Massive Collective throat-clearing/>   

       <Street vendor>   

       "Earplugs ... earplugs ... only fifty dollars a pair ... earplugs ... cotton wool ... get your earplugs here ... last chance to buy ... earplugs ..."   

       </Street vendor>
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020

       Your insomnia is not our problem, [kdf]
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020


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