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Fake artificial leg

Not a disability... ..
  (+4, -2)
(+4, -2)
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against]

It has been noted that those who use prosthetic lower limbs have a certain advantage when it comes to, for example, queueing. More often than not, a pained expression and constant shifting of weight onto a walking stick will be enough to make many gatekeepers - however seemingly fearsome - so uneasy at the obvious presence of disability to allow a little delicate queue-jumping to occur; and even better, other able-bodied queuers raise no objection to such proceedings.

Thus BorgCo have designed and manufactured a superbly engineered fake artificial leg. This rigid casing clips neatly and comfortably over a real, normal functional leg, and is cunningly coloured and textured to look not quite lifelike, with a prominent metal "hinge" at the ankle.

Use of a small, soft plastic block inside the heel of the corresponding shoe produces a convincing slight limp and awkwardness when walking, adding to the authenticity of the appearance.

If the "leg" is tapped with the optional complementary walking stick (available for a modest extra charge) a distinctive hollow, knocking sound is emitted - by the stick. But it sounds like it comes from the leg, of course.

8th of 7, Sep 27 2020

Jake The Peg https://www.youtube...watch?v=imRaRW4ltOs
with his extra leg [kdf, Sep 28 2020]

Shackles and Chains https://youtube.com/watch?v=Z_-Jy2o_3iI
[kdf, Sep 28 2020]

8th's Got A Little List https://www.youtube...watch?v=CWo_3CIcTBQ
... and it's fairly current..... [kdf, Sep 28 2020]

[link]






       For you, is there a head to go with it? One that contains an actual brain instead a sponge that's been dipped in a bowl of bat guano would be useful. [+] For the idea that the bat we sent probably wrote for you.
xenzag, Sep 27 2020
  

       Cheaper option: just remove your leg. No on-going maintenance, lighter and easier to transport (the non- existent leg, that is; the rest of the person, not so much...).
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 27 2020
  

       Just the walking stick is much cheaper and can be used for the same effect. But there’s a special place in Hell reserved for people who fake a disability for pity’s sake. It involves a walking tour of a military museum, with 8th as the docent.
kdf, Sep 27 2020
  

       // a special place in Hell reserved for people who fake a disability for pity’s sake. //   

       Quite right, that's contemptible, despicable and disgusting.   

       What about the ones who do it from simple selfishness, laziness and arrogance, though ? That's all right, shirley ?
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020
  

       Further modification I just thought of: once the artificial artificial leg is clamped on tight, it doesn't come off. Ever.
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 28 2020
  

       Hmmm... doing something for pity versus simple selfishness, laziness and arrogance? All the same, they’re queued up for your tour of Gettysburg.   

       The very worst also get to listen to your rendition of “I’ve Got A Little List” ... or “Jake The Peg” (link).
kdf, Sep 28 2020
  

       We are familiar with "Jake the Peg", but our speciality is Barbershop ... as you would expect, we're superb at close-harmony singing ...   

       // they’re queued up for your tour of Gettysburg. //   

       They don't exactly have a choice; the shackles and chains keep them in line quite nicely. We won't make that mistake again, after the last lot ran away ...
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020
  

       Ach, you singing “Shackles and Chains” would be even worse (link).
kdf, Sep 28 2020
  

       <Massive Collective throat-clearing/>   

       <Street vendor>   

       "Earplugs ... earplugs ... only fifty dollars a pair ... earplugs ... cotton wool ... get your earplugs here ... last chance to buy ... earplugs ..."   

       </Street vendor>
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020
  

       No rest, nor earplugs, for the wicked.
kdf, Sep 28 2020
  

       Your insomnia is not our problem, [kdf]
8th of 7, Sep 28 2020
  
      
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