Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Famous First Words

An anthology of greetings to use upon meeting famous and infamous personalities who have been missing or thought by many to never have died.
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Henry Stanley had two years to formulate his legendary "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?” uttered upon locating the African explorer and missionary. In the same way, appropriate salutations should be readied for use when any absent or presumed dead, renowned or notorious person pops up.

“Jimmy Hoffa! Are those bits of concrete and seaweed I see in your trouser cuffs?”

“bin Laden, huh? Call off your dogs or you’ll wake up on the operating table as a Taliban woman.”

“Elvis, I was Crying in the Chapel, now My Wish Came True with the Wonder of You and I Beg of You, Don’t Leave Me Now.”

FarmerJohn, Dec 27 2002


       Jim Morrison? Alive? I knew that it would be untrue!
friendlyfire, Dec 27 2002

       John Lennon? Imagine that.....
Marassa, Dec 27 2002

       Richie Valens! Thank God for parachutes, eh?
friendlyfire, Dec 27 2002

       Lady Diana? Fancy running into you...
Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 27 2002

       Anton Zander LaVey? Well, I'll be damned......
Marassa, Dec 27 2002

       Jesus? - Jesus Christ!
hippo, Dec 27 2002

       Henry Stanley, I presume? D'you see what I did there, Mr Stanley? Flashback humour!
friendlyfire, Dec 27 2002

       Saint Maximus? You don't say?
st3f, Dec 27 2002

       Harry? Harry Houdini? Amazing.......
Marassa, Dec 27 2002

       Awww. And here i was expecting a collection of famous people's embarrassing "Gaga! Dada!"   

       You're really Richard Feynman? Surely you're joking!
sadie, Dec 27 2002

       You're Amelia???!!! How was your flight?
Marassa, Dec 27 2002

       Yo, Socrates! Can I get you a drink?
lurch, Dec 27 2002

       Gandhi? Here, have a croissant. I mean it! – Have the croissant!   

       Helen Keller. Woohoo! Now we get to do that furniture thing again!   

       Picasso... Well paint me surprised.   

       Edison? Shocking!
Shz, Dec 28 2002

       Mr. Williams??? Well come on inside Ted, it’s a bit chilly out there.   

       Adam!!! <friendly sock to the ribs> How’s it going?   

       Hendrix?… Wow! What a trip.
Shz, Dec 28 2002

       I are pleased to meet at you Mr. President
thumbwax, Dec 28 2002

       You're Robert Ripley? I don't believe it....
Marassa, Dec 28 2002

       Mr. Jagger? Pleased to meet you, Hope you guess my name....
Marassa, Dec 28 2002

       Lord Lucan! Now, about that repeat ad in The Lady for domestic help...
Miss Bianca, Dec 28 2002

       You're JFK!!!!!! That blows my mind.....   

       Kurt? Kurt Cobain? Hey! Next shot's on me.....
Marassa, Dec 28 2002

       Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?
thumbwax, Dec 28 2002

       God? Hallelujah!
neelandan, Dec 28 2002

       Joan of Ark? Well done.
half, Dec 28 2002

       Madeleine Murray O'Hare? Thank God you're alive!
Guncrazy, Dec 28 2002

       Harold Holt? Fishy.   

       Houdini? How'd you get out of that one?   

       (half - you are an evil genius)
madradish, Dec 29 2002

       Carmen Sandiego? Where in the world have you been?   

       Beethoven? I thought you were decomposing these days.   

       Bruce Lee? Well isn’t that a kicker!   

       Medusa???!!!!! ………………………………………
Shz, Dec 29 2002

       <off track> Never trust a man who when left alone in a room with a tea cosy doesn't try it on </off track>
kaz, Dec 29 2002

       they cause 3 deaths per year on average
po, Dec 29 2002

       Then they shouldn't be wearing them while driving.
friendlyfire, Dec 29 2002

       Sir Walter Ralegh, as I live and breathe!   

       Alan Freed!I guess it all paid off in the end...   

       Liberace! Nobody can hold a candle to you.   

       Lizzie Borden! Well cut off my legs and call me Shorty!   

       Richard Harris, would you care for some cake? Oh, rats, it's raining.
Canuck, Dec 30 2002

       Dylan Thomas?! Guess you *didn't* go gently... aw, forget it.
Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 30 2002

       Under Milk Wood II - he's back, and he's raging!
(off topic, sorry)
egbert, Dec 30 2002

       <off topic> When Clemens visited Australia, he said the Australians were so much like Americans, they even sounded the same. I guess another century of trying to keep the flies out took its toll. </off topic>
rowlycat, Dec 30 2002

       John Merrick?
Well then just who's bones *did* I buy at the Jackson estate auction?

       But apart from that Mr Lincoln, did you enjoy the show?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 06 2005

       Burke? How's it hanging?
froglet, Mar 06 2005

       Noah, so how's the weather? +
xandram, Aug 03 2007

       Beethoven! I thought you were decomposing!   

       Newton! I heard you were disintegrating!
csea, Aug 03 2007

       Mark Twain, Hi! I heard a rumor...
globaltourniquet, Aug 04 2007

       Descartes? I think not! Hey, where did he go?
sprogga, Aug 04 2007

       Maybe I'm wrong, but I think most famous people's first word is "waaah".
Ander, Aug 04 2007

       Hey Caeser, have you seen Brutus around today?
xandram, Aug 07 2007

       Hektor, baby, chill out man, you're such a drag.
theleopard, Aug 07 2007

       "Et tu, Brute?"
marklar, Aug 07 2007

       "Liszt? I'm afraid you've been marked for deletion..."
wagster, Aug 07 2007

       [wags] Bravo!
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Aug 07 2007

       absinthe wilt thou leave? (profuse apologies) Thanks [wags] though.
the dog's breakfast, Aug 07 2007

       Dr. Kavorkian? Wait a minute...you're not dead yet!
Road Show, Aug 07 2007

       Välkomnande rygg , Lantbrukaren John.
Ling, Aug 07 2007

       Elvis has entered the building.
marklar, Aug 07 2007

       //Lady Diana? Fancy running into you.../ Ouch cut to the core!
sprogga, Mar 23 2008

       **Stops the man** When you first were approaching, I wasn't so sure, Mr. Heisenburg, but *now* I am almost certain!
MikeD, Mar 23 2008

       Miss Duncan? _Love_ that scarf!
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 23 2008


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