Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Firework Christmas Decorations

Twice the fun
  [vote for,

BorgCo product development are pleased to be able to reveal the latest development in time for the Christmas season.

Most people store their decorations from year to year. This takes up space, and there are the ghastly rituals of unpacking everything and packing it away again.

Now, however, a light dawns (If you're incautious, quite literally). BorgCo are proud to offer an extensive range of pyrotechnic Christmas decorations. Artificial trees, paper chains, tinsel, baubles … all packed with combustible goodness and ready to go at the application of a flame, or indeed an incautious nudge with an elbow.

Bring some excitement back to the festive season. Head down to your local store and buy all the decorations you need. Put them up in your house. Spend the next three weeks looking round nervously and searching guests for matches and lighters. On New Year's Eve, take the lot outside and set fire to it. Et viola, a celebratory display.

Nothing to pack away, just some ashes and bits of cardboard to sweep up. And next year, you have the fun of choosing your decorations/fireworks all over again, which is excellent for our balance sheet.

Safe extra low voltage LED lights are available; standard incandescent lamps are best avoided, as are candles, open fires, and coughing a bit too loudly.

8th of 7, Nov 09 2012

Christmas pyrotechnics chez pocmloc http://www.simoncha...as_tree_candles.jpg
[pocmloc, Nov 12 2012]

Please note that these are for decoration purposes only as it can be very dangerous to use candles on Christmas Trees http://www.candleso...andle__Holders.html
[pocmloc, Nov 12 2012]


       never thought this would ever happen but +
po, Nov 09 2012


       I must admit, though, that I was expecting a large firework which, when placed in the centre of a room and lit, would explosively decorate everything with tinsel.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2012

       Just a slight surfeit of enthusiasm ...
8th of 7, Nov 09 2012

       //Et viola//   

       I believe the correct spelling is “WALA”.
ytk, Nov 09 2012

       I missed this, how I know not. A pretty, but dangerously flammable bun.
blissmiss, Nov 12 2012

       + (could there please be some mini explosions whilst still on the tree?)
xandram, Nov 12 2012

       When I was a child, we always had a bonfire of the tree, holly, ivy and cards on Jan 6th. All that greenery that has been hanging drying indoors for 3 weeks or so...   

       Now I am pretend grown up we start the pyromania earlier... <link>
pocmloc, Nov 12 2012

       // whilst still on the tree //   

       We perceive that your pitiful human brain has completely failed to grasp the total and complete awesomeness of the idea.   

       The decorations are not removed from the tree. The tree is itself a pyrotechnic assembly and includes fusing. The decorations attached to the tree are linked up to the pre-installed fuse mesh.   

       The whole tree, complete with baubles and tinsel, is taken outside and detonated as a single sequence MUHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   


       Do you understand now?
8th of 7, Nov 12 2012

       Excellent, [8th]! [+] I award you a fresh steaming bun for your... Hey, wait a minute... take it OUTSIDE?
Grogster, Nov 15 2012

       Outside is optional. If you let it off inside, the walls and ceiling will initially prevent you seeing the full effect of the display.   

       Obviously, given that these are BorgCo pyrotechnics, even if you start indoors, you'll be outdoors fairly quickly ...
8th of 7, Nov 15 2012


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