Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Flame Thrower Cuckoo Clock

cuckoo clock that shoots out a flame
  (+13, -1)(+13, -1)
(+13, -1)
  [vote for,

Instead of a foolish bird coming out and chirping at preset times, a figure dressed in military attire emerges and shoots out a jet of napalm from a miniature flamethrower.

By necessity, this entire arrangement is contained in a fireproof enclosure to avoid burning down your house, and to capture the resulting fumes. (except for first thing in the morning)

Larger complex deluxe version features a Crocodile Flamethrower Tank that also makes toast.

xenzag, Mar 12 2020


       Here that sound of hammering on your door ?   

       You have customers. It's us.   

       As an alarm clock, that really does Smell Of Napalm In The Morning, it's brilliant.   


       (Of course, we suspect a trap. It couldn't be anything else. But the concept is enthralling...)
8th of 7, Mar 12 2020

       Ordinance clock has no face. It sets series of explosions detonations and other destructive noises each minute so you always know what time it is.
pocmloc, Mar 12 2020

       This needs detcord somewhere in the design... [+]
21 Quest, Mar 13 2020

       Given a scaled-down nozzle, would you need to reduce the proportion of gelling agent in the mix, so as to prevent the device from getting blocked up like a little bottle of concentrated washing-up liquid?
pertinax, Mar 13 2020

       No, the gellng agents are selected to exhibit thixotropy, thining under the shear stress in the nozzle but then returning to the gel form in flight so that they stick to the target.   

       And what [21_Q] said...
8th of 7, Mar 13 2020

       Sweet revenge on old Autie Biddy, who sits and criticizes the living room decor and shuns your scones and stares with distaste at your Cuckoo Clock on the wall, so much so that at the stroke of noon she must get up and get a closer look. Hahahaha
blissmiss, Mar 13 2020

       Indeed. Hey [bliss], come and take a closer look at our lovely new clock ...
8th of 7, Mar 13 2020

       Put on a red "Snooze/EOD" button. With a random function... sometimes you get "That was easy!", and sometimes you don't.
lurch, Mar 13 2020

       Add chemicals for different colours at different times.   

       I'm not sure about the soldier though. I had kind of pictured the foolish bird popping out and shooting fire from it's beak.
wagster, Mar 13 2020

       Why not a tiny dragon, then ?   

       An ornate clock made to look like a medieval castle, with a dragon that popped out of a turret and blew out a little* jet of burning butane every hour would sell well to the Game of Thrones enthusiasts ...   


       *We repeat, yet again, just for the record, BorgCo are NOT responsible for any damage, serious injury or death caused by any use, misuse or abuse of any BorgCo product or device.
8th of 7, Mar 13 2020

       A dragon is too obvious. How about a llama?
wagster, Mar 14 2020

       A llama would spit globs of regurgitated semi-digested grass, rather than a jet of fire.   

       What about a lama ? Buddhist wisdom would probably be quite acceptable...
8th of 7, Mar 14 2020

       //Crocodile Flamethrower Tank that also makes toast.//   

       You had me at Churchill Crocodile.. [+]
bs0u0155, Mar 16 2020

       "Sergeant ! Target thirty left, range one hundred, thick sliced wholemeal ... for medium dark, two rounds, FIRE !"
8th of 7, Mar 16 2020

       <sogyal rinpoche appears>The time is now. There is no other time.</sogyal rinpoche>
wagster, Mar 16 2020

       Yoda clock ... ?
8th of 7, Mar 16 2020

       That's actually a quote from the original Planet of the Apes movie. Very much a document of its time. Which was back then.
pertinax, Mar 17 2020


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