h a l f b a k e r y
Assume a hemispherical cow.
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Instead of all that bulky kit to strap on, skydivers should have minipack chutes under reinforced epaulettes and tug tiny cords in the fringing to release them when they jump.
||This would have the addded advantage that even if one 'chute malfunctioned, you'd have another to give at least some braking, thus ensuring that you only hit the ground at about half normal Terminal Velocity. [+]