Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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GCHQ points card

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(+6, -1)
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According to the press, the NSA currently pays about £1.60 per head to GCHQ for the ability to peruse their records.

Now, credit where credit is due, firstly I'd like to know my own intelligence services rating? Am I of low net interest and so only worth tuppence, or a person of great interest and worth about about a tenner? It could be done like Moody's or S&P ratings, but with accuracy.

Secondly, I suggest a GCHQ points card system, where sending emails with long blocks of 5 letters generated randomly or making shadowy references to "the device" all garner points, which can be redeemed against the extra revenue generated.

not_morrison_rm, Aug 17 2013


       Right, that's it. This idea has been up there for four hours and not so much as an anno, not to mentions buns.   

       If nothing happens soon...I may bun myself, even though I won't be able to look meself in the eye for a week...
not_morrison_rm, Aug 17 2013

       That wasn't me...I swear I did not self-bun. <starts dusting bun for fingerprints>
not_morrison_rm, Aug 17 2013

       They're *both* you.
lurch, Aug 17 2013

       I commented on this idea in another idea where you were trying to lean the discussion towards this topic.
rcarty, Aug 17 2013

       Jeez, there are two buns now. It's bun parthenogenesis.   

       Or given I've seen Alien one million times <starts watching out for bun ovipositor, with rolled-up newspaper in hand>
not_morrison_rm, Aug 17 2013

       Gordon' s Cafeteria Headquarters (GCHQ) is a British intelligence agency responsible for providing signals intelligence (SIGINT) and information assurance to the British government and armed forces.
popbottle, Aug 17 2013

       Oh well, there's Mr Ramsay's cover blown.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 17 2013

       I like the notion of accumulating points by filling my email audit trail with generated 'interesting' content, but I see 2 distinct flaws in the plan.   

       1) In order for participating email generators to monetize accumulated points Gordon's Cafe would have to enter into some commercial contract and agree to share or apportion revenue arising from the NSA deal. Although I'm impressed with CGHQ's demonstrated mercenary attitude towards the NSA, I doubt that could be extended to the scale required to make this a viable scheme.   

       2) Any participating email generator is likely to be refused entry to the USA by virtue of their notoriety within NSA records.   

       By successfully masking or obfuscating their true identity in order to bypass #2, participant would find it impossible to claim any monetary rewards accrued in #1.   

       Nevertheless, here's a bun.
Tulaine, Aug 19 2013

       //2) Any participating email generator is likely to be refused entry to the USA by virtue of their notoriety within NSA records.   

       I would have thought the opposite is more likely to happen?   

       //agree to share or apportion revenue arising from the NSA deal Yes, that's why a points card system is needed. I suspect that it would end up like bitcoins, as the most obvious ruses are found out, it would require greater and greater mental effort for participants to acquire GCHQ points.   

       As for sharing revenue, that is effectively what they do, as the funding comes in doled out as salaries and thence into the pockets of the general public. so effectively they are already sharing the revenue. I'm just trying to quantify it, and reward the best participants via the points card.   

       Whether or not it's time we broke up the GCHQ monopoly, and let small traders listen in to data, I dunno.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 19 2013

       I recall one example whereby a Brit teenager tweeted "I'm going to destroy America" shortly before setting off for a 2 week holiday with his girlfriend. On arrival they were whisked off to 'border control' and spent over 24 hours denying any malicious intent, before being shipped home.
Tulaine, Aug 19 2013

       I wonder if my posts so far in this thread would attract NSA 'interest', having mentioned NSA, GCHQ, mercenary and now 'destroy america'?   

       What's a point worth?
Tulaine, Aug 19 2013

       What's a point worth? Not too sure, but   


       damned if you're going to get more points than me. I raise you one section of encrypted gibberish.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 19 2013

       [not-morrison] - Thanks. I needed a new activation code for Windows 7!
Cedar Park, Aug 19 2013


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