Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gates Foundation.

Makes you look several billion dollars.
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,

On opening the jar, the contents are obviously extremely rich, thick, smooth and oily. Rub on the face to give that shiny, slightly nervous look with a wide, fixed, insincere grin.

Every year or so, the product is repackaged to the accompaniment of an enormous publicity campaign, encouraging everyone to rush out and get the "new" version. But when you get it home and unpack the contents, it turns out to be the same old soft soap as always, although some claim to be able to detect a distinct scent of apple in the more recent versions.

8th of 7, Jul 25 2012


       Ooh, cynicky.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 25 2012

       I heard the first proposed name for Microsoft was Maxihard but they decided that didn't paint an appropriate image for their product.
doctorremulac3, Jul 27 2012

       And to bash Microsoft a little more,   

       From the movie Pirates of Silicon Valley, Bill Gates talking to Steve Jobs allegedly said: "Get real, would ya? You and I are both like guys who had this rich neighbor - Xerox - who left the door open all the time. And you go sneakin' in to steal a TV set. Only when you get there, you realize that I got there first. I got the loot, Steve! And you're yellin'? "That's not fair. I wanted to try to steal it first." You're too late."   

       Maybe Gates should have called his software "Doors" instead of "Windows".
doctorremulac3, Jul 28 2012

       I thought this was just a collection of gates, through the ages.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 28 2012

       I prefer the term 'paperweights.'
RayfordSteele, Jul 28 2012

       Ha! and after you've opened the jar, you find that a fungus has moved in, then the lid doesn't quite fit correctly....
xenzag, Jul 29 2012

       In a weird contravention of the laws of thermodynamics, the jar will occasionally freeze.
hippo, Jul 30 2012

       Or sometimes the jar just won't open! +
xandram, Jul 30 2012

       Will you be able to jump over an office chair?
UnaBubba, Jul 31 2012


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