Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Giant cyborg hamster

Powered exoskeleton for hamsters
  [vote for,

Hamster balls are all very well, but they aren't the size of an SUV, made of steel, armour-plated and they don't allow the hamster to move naturally. I think this is a pity. As noted by [UB] in my "computer capybara" idea, there was once an even bigger capybara known as Neochoerus which weighed almost half a ton.

My suggestion is to provide a hamster with a powered exoskeleton made of steel and weighing around three tons. The hamster wears a body suit which monitors its movements and transmits them to the exoskeleton, including those of the jaws, and goggles and headphones which allow it to hear and see what's going on. It then roams around London wreaking death and destruction wherever it goes, chewing up vehicles, houses and lamp posts and maybe uses the London Eye as an exercise wheel. I think it would be nice for those of us nostalgic for carnivorous guinea pigs the size of horses and prepare us for the time of the giant predatory rat.

nineteenthly, Jan 10 2009

Project Pigeon http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Project_Pigeon
Pigeon-guided missile. Never put in action. [spidermother, Jan 26 2009]


       That´s tabu here, unless you can come up with specific details. Now, i can imagine encouraging certain forms of dwarfism to reduce height to around a metre, say some kind of dwarf breeding program, but in that case, the giant cyborg hamsters should still be done because then they´d be even more awesome.
nineteenthly, Jan 10 2009

       //We'd have so much more room, our total pollution levels would drop, food would be plentiful//
And we wouldn't need graveyards, just flush the dead down the loo [+]
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 11 2009

       Invader Zim in episode 'hamstergeddon' creates a giant cyborg hamster (called pipi) which wreaks havoc much as you suggest, as well as ensnaring people with its awesome power of cute. No exoskeleton though.
spidermother, Jan 26 2009

       Right, thanks, i'll have to look at that. This is easier though, because there's no need for an operating theatre and tinkering with a tiny anatomy. Then again, there are cyborg insects, aren't there?
nineteenthly, Jan 26 2009

       I like it! <goes away to work out how to attach his budgie to the controls of a 747>[+]
MadnessInMyMethod, Jan 26 2009

       I used to have another plan similar to yours, [MadnessInMyMethod], involving harnessing the power of insect brains to control planes without the need for air traffic control, but i think there's a problem with inertia there. I am, however, very interested in the apparent ability of insects to fly around without the need for a control tower. How do they do it and why can't planes do the same thing automatically?
nineteenthly, Jan 26 2009

       Even so, could there be hints in insect nervous systems as to how to do it without human intervention? I dunno, maybe they just do crash into one another and are more resilient than tonnes of metal hurtling around at hundreds of kph for some reason.
nineteenthly, Jan 26 2009

       Zim simply attached an alien device to the hamster's back, which caused it to grow to enormous size.   

       Have you heard of the pigeon-guided missile (link)?
spidermother, Jan 26 2009

       Yes i have, it was in the Radio Times in the late 'seventies. It alleged they were able to make distinctions between East Asians and Europeans.
nineteenthly, Jan 26 2009


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