Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Golf Cemetery

For enthusiasts only
  (+17, -2)(+17, -2)
(+17, -2)
  [vote for,

I actually can envision many "Theme Cemeteries", but Golf seems to be one that many, many people would spend money to get into. Unlike a lot of other sports, even people who play very badly spend a lot of money to do it.

So a cemetery for golfers, to be laid to rest with other golfers (perhaps in groups of 4), would appeal to a large number of people.

The grounds, of course, would be well kept. The grass would be neatly trimmed and kept free of debris. The ladies' graves would be 20 yards in front of mens', which in turn are 20 yds in front of the "Pro's".

And rather than just come and lay flowers and weep, the departed's family comes and plays mini-golf around the cemetery (maybe incorporating tomb-stones for bank-shots, although that's pretty morbid). What a lovely way to pay tribute to that golfer who used to be in your life.

Matty, Jun 26 2002

(??) or a nice little miniature golf cemetery? http://www.halfbake...n_20of_20(anything)
[po, Jun 26 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Ghoulish Terrace http://story.news.y...od_nm/cemetery_dc_1
I wouldn't have believed it. [Matty, Jun 27 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Funeral parlor with mini-golf http://www.roadside...ract/ILPALgolf.html
In keeping with the theme. [polartomato, Jun 30 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

https://www.golfadv...emeteries-halloween [hippo, Oct 08 2020]


       I think that George Carlin may have warmed this idea over quite a few years back...
Mr Burns, Jun 26 2002

       Well I THOUGHT it was a pretty obvious idea, but couldn't find reference here or on Yahoo! Of course George Carlin would have thought of this. Oh well. Maybe some of my details are new though.
Matty, Jun 26 2002

       I was really hoping this was a combination golf course/cemetery. seems so silly to use up all that nice real estate and lawn care just to put people underground. duirng the ceremony you'd need people standing to the sides with 'QUIET' signs.
rbl, Jun 26 2002

       All fun and good until the preacher gets hit and falls unconcious into the open grave...   

       it'll all end in tears I tell you...   

       Oh, and a bun.
yamahito, Jun 26 2002

       themed cemeteries eh? there could be the circular darts one, or the back of a pub for the drinking types or a nice little chequered square for the chess players amongst us.
po, Jun 26 2002

       I'd like to see a Goth-themed cemetery. Or an internet porn-themed cemetery, since so many people seem to view that as an all-consuming past-time as well.   

       [yamahito] It would almost sadder if a day at the cemetery ended in laughter (ever notice how laughter is "slaughter" without the "s"?).
Matty, Jun 26 2002

       matty, you slaughter me..
yamahito, Jun 26 2002

       How about a theme cemetery with various "lands" like a theme park? It shall be called: Grislyworld- The Happiest Place in the Great Beyond.
polartomato, Jun 27 2002

       Manslaughter: Mans laughter...
waugsqueke, Jun 27 2002

       Polartomato: Why not use airfields ? You could bury pilots along the sides of runways, and put the approach lights on top of them like a memorial beacon. We consider that themed cemetaries could quite genuinely be a popular thing and there is no reason that they should not be built, as long as the intended occupants choose their resting place in advance of their own free will. Then we thought of some of the war cemeteries ... and it suddenly didn't seem quite so amusing. But we don't want to knock the general idea, if people want it.
8th of 7, Jun 27 2002

       Apropos of [Matty]'s link, even if only slightly, my aunt lived for several years in Ladywell Cemetery in London, but only because she was the crematorium superintendent. (She was, in fact, the first female licensed crematorium superintendent in the country.)
angel, Jun 27 2002

       //She was, in fact, the first female licensed crematorium superintendent in the country//   

       Cool. Might have been nice for her to be able to play mini-golf once in a while, huh?
Matty, Jun 27 2002

       Her dog (Irish wolfhound / Belgian collie cross) certainly appreciated the space.
angel, Jun 27 2002

       Angel: Did she ever get a worrying moment when it came home with a bone in its mouth, though ? Euuuuurgh....
8th of 7, Jun 27 2002

       To corrupt a yama phrase, "8-7, you slaughter me.."
barnzenen, Jun 28 2002

       Fore... Arm!
thumbwax, Jun 29 2002

       Um, Matty, I think a Goth-themed cemetary = a cemetary.
nick_n_uit, Jun 29 2002

       //Um, Matty, I think a Goth-themed cemetary = a cemetary//   

       Yes, I see what you mean. Except its a very watery version of "Goth", isn't it, today's cemetery. Where are the pillars, and the imported ravens? A Goth-themed cemetery (that's hard to say!) should look like a Tim Burton movie.
Matty, Jul 02 2002

       This theme cemetaries idea reminds me of something I saw on PBS once about this guy in Ghana who makes theme coffins. He would shape and paint it in the likeness of something that was a big part of the deceased person's life. I remember one family had a coffin made to look like a 56' red and white buick.
oddsonsardines, Jul 09 2002

       Golf-Cemetery would be a good way of getting double duty out of a park like setting. Just put the graves in the ruff.   

       Golf enthusiasts would love being buried at their favorite place. A place their best friends would be more likely to visit at least once a week during the golf season.   

       Just think of the tax advantages.
ricardo_hernandez, May 13 2003

       + for Ken golf fanatic
popbottle, Feb 09 2017

       Breaking news: Authorities recently exhumed 3 bodies who allegedly had died of 'natural causes' but found a hole in one.
AusCan531, Feb 10 2017

       This update just in - first three bodies, now fore.
normzone, Feb 10 2017

       The medical examiner says that they were probably clubbed to death...
8th of 7, Feb 10 2017

       ... though one of them may have had a stroke.   

       (Actually, I think that one wandered in from another joke.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 10 2017

       I came up with a similar idea of combining the greenspaces of golf courses and cemeteries - only to have a search reveal this posting. I propose the added embellishment of having no visible grave markers cluttering up the golf course as this requirement could be taken care of by Virtual Reality Goggles.   

       After a happy Foursome plays through, a grieving family equipped with VR goggles could stand in the same spot on the Green and see a towering and baroque edifice over the exact spot their loved one is interred. Sort of like Pokemon Go - but not quite so cheery.   

       In order to reduce conflict, it might be necessary for sunny days to be allocated to the golfers whilst the dreary, rainy days be set aside for the mourners. Which seems more suiting anyway.
AusCan531, Oct 08 2020

       I thought of this as well and had to delete for being halfway- baked. "Well crap", said I. So great minds and all that.
blissmiss, Oct 08 2020

       Link added, of golf courses which are very near cemeteries
hippo, Oct 08 2020

       Caddying for a chipped angel on the back nine at the Père Lachaise - they're terrible tippers, you know - I was thinking how those memorials look like large kennels or small sentry boxes for the dead. Every time the ball goes in there's an awkward moment when you have to putt it out again. It's as if you ought to knock first.
pertinax, Oct 08 2020

xenzag, Oct 08 2020

       Getting hit by golf balls while asking departed loved ones important questions might be just the randomization needed,
wjt, Oct 11 2020


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