Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gravemail

Loved ones leave voicemail for those left behind
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Imagine: on the gravestone of someone recently departed, as well as the normal platitudes...sorely missed...loving husband...include a mobile telephone number as well.

This would be used by the famaily members, or anyone else who wanted to listen, to activate a menu system which you would press the appropriate phone button to hear different messages recorded when the dead were...living.

The operator could say something like:

"Thank you for calling Gravemail. Be assured your loved one is warm and safe, and nowhere near the searing fires of hell. They are at peace, and are waiting for your call. Please press 1 to hear their last wishes, 2 to hear their comfort message for your times of stress, 3 to hear them tell a joke and 4 for those sweet nothings and pet names they told only to you. Please press 5 to leave them a message, and we will ensure we will pass it on for you using our patented 'Phonevoyant' technology. Press 0 to return to the operator. This call costs £1.50 at all times, and is sponsored by Coffins Inc. Thank you for calling. Please select a number now. And remember - a dead person, is a happy person."

No shortage of potential customers for this one...

Skybird, Jun 27 2001

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       "Headstones with video screens"....i hope "Mr Minimum Wage" dont put "Debbie Does Dallas" in mine.
Pretoria, Jan 10 2002
  

       "Oh, sure... NOW you call me?"
land, Sep 09 2005
  

       This would freak me out, and give me nightmares
chocolateraindrops, Sep 09 2005
  

       Quite sweet, actually.
wagster, Sep 09 2005
  

       Very sweet, but I suggest you run this one by the psychologists first. IANAP but my rudimentary understanding of how living creatures (human and animal alike) deal with is that emotional repair only comes through a brief mourning period followed by closure. This creates an endless mourning period where closure never comes. The wife will sit on the edge of her bed crying as she listens to those packaged sweet nothings, too distraught to take the kids to soccer practice, check on their homework or maintain her own healthy social life.   

       I applaud your intent and effort but award you a fishbone for the grief I see this causing.
disbomber, Sep 09 2005
  


 

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