Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Greece De Fault Zones

If Euro what I mean.
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Greece seems destined to slip into the status of hyper- inflationary pariah state again, as it did in 1944 and 1953.

This will be a massive drain on the European economy and will affect the rest of the world, unless we act now.

Therefore, starting Thursday morning at 9am, all olive oil, rapeseed crops, feta cheese, tzatziki, taramasalata and unbaked bread dough in Greece is to be confiscated and shipped to earthquake fault zones around the world. Once there it is to be made into a giant milkshake and poured into the fault zones to prevent potentially destructive earthquakes.

A market rate for this food produce will be determined by a specially convened sitting of the board of the World Bank, with the proceeds being paid in part to the banks that underwrote the latest bailout package and a bit going directly to the Greek government's department of finance, to replace the tax revenue it apparently can't ask its citizens to pay.

UnaBubba, May 14 2012

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       It's kind of like watching a stupidity-induced car crash in slow motion isn't it? One minute it looks as if they might just get some traction, then they oversteer back into the path of another b-double.   

       Of course to stretch the metaphor, the car's on fire, the driver's an incompetent bufoon, and the backseat mob can't see out the windshield. [also there's a cliff in front, they're in the middle of a meteor storm in an active war zone, the bridge is out, and there's a quartet of oddly spectral horsemen on their way over right now...].   

       ...Oh, the idea, yes. Put the whole lot into receivership and have a fire sale, with preference given to the hapless creditors? Yes, good idea.
Custardguts, May 14 2012

       the Parthenon would make a pretty reasonable gazebo.
FlyingToaster, May 14 2012

       Apparently they've been messing with this idea called "democracy" for quite a while now, but it's clearly not an outstanding success.   

       But then, letting the general population have any sort of a say in how the country is run sounds extremely doubtful, and it is noticeable how more successful and advanced nations have scrupulously avoided such a glaring mistake. Why, under such an ill-advised system, George W Bush might never have won the Presidency…
8th of 7, May 14 2012

       The trouble with the Greek version of democracy is that their government kept spending more... a lot more... than it was earning in taxes. The US, on the other hand, is still spending more, a lot more, than... as you were.   

       You could always use the Parthenon to house the Elgin Marbles. That would be a fitting use.
UnaBubba, May 14 2012

       What an excellent idea. Have it dismantled, crated, and shipped to the British Museum immediately.
8th of 7, May 14 2012

       The Greek parliament, or the Parthenon?   

       Both are probably fitting museum fodder, from what I can see. They both seem to be public institutions long past their useful lifespan.
UnaBubba, May 14 2012

       //this idea called "democracy" for quite a while now, but it's clearly not an outstanding success//   

       Agreed. What we, the great unwashed mob really need is a Benign Dictator, or at least some reasonable facsimile of benign. Said dictator could then draw our attention to a suitable Ubiquitous Enemy and we could all be Gloriuosly Distracted for a decent period, I'd wager.   

       This all sounds so familiar....
Custardguts, May 14 2012

       When the Ubiquitous Enemy is our own stupidity the Gloriously Distracted decent period should last almost indefinitely I'd wager.   

       // This all sounds so familiar... //   

       You probably learned it from the Telescreens during the Two Minutes Hate (a.k.a. a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Liberal Party).
8th of 7, May 14 2012

       Perhaps now is the time for Greece to annexe Turkey.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 14 2012

       I think I'd rather see Turkey in Greece than the other way around.
UnaBubba, May 14 2012

       Give it all to the Kurds and Armenians.
RayfordSteele, May 14 2012

       I have an idea. Can't we just allocate Greece Facebook shares? Have them flip it and by the end of the day, they'll be out of debt?
theircompetitor, May 14 2012

       Is it just a coincidence that Greece is the only European country that Queen Elizabeth, in 60 years as head of state and after hundreds of state visits abroad, has never visited?

Anyway, [marked-for-deletion] bad geology / pun
hippo, May 14 2012

       // Have it dismantled, crated, and shipped to the British Museum immediately. //   

       Why not? Half of it's there already, along with every Egyptian artifact that would fit into a steamer trunk.   

       Bloody thieves.
Alterother, May 14 2012

       Just aquisitive … you should see what's hidden away in the deep tunnels under the Tower of London… Indiana Jones would bite right through his hat brim.   

       When you've been in the "Oooh, that's nice… I think I'll have that as a souvenir…" game for the best part of a thousand years, Warehouse 13 looks kind of tame by comparison.
8th of 7, May 14 2012

       And the best bit is that they p*ss on Australians for their criminal roots, all the while raping the world with established colonies.   

       Perhaps the Queen would care to send payment for items acquired?
RayfordSteele, May 14 2012

       Before we give everything back we'll carefully 'distress' it to the level it would be had we left it in place - e.g. if Lord Elgin had not purchased the Elgin marbles from the then owner of the Parthenon they would have been dissolved by Turkish artillery and Athens' pollution.
hippo, May 14 2012

       At least _we_ didn't have anything worth stealing. I think it helped that there was a clean slate between nations when our boys went over and impregnated an entire generation of British daughters during WWII. Otherwise there might have been some residual animosity to, um, *sour* relations.
Alterother, May 14 2012

       Pun? Pun? How can you say that, [hippo], when everything is a pun. For fuck's sake, man, I make a point of using pun titles where possible.   

       This was me trying to take away something useful from the Greek debt crisis. Hell, my first idea was to send them 100 million condoms, inside a wooden horse, so they'd stop breeding more dole bludgers.
UnaBubba, May 14 2012

       If they're sticking their things inside wooden horses (or even non-wooden horses) I don't think that actual breeding will be a problem.
AusCan531, May 15 2012

       That's why camels are called "Ships of the Desert".
UnaBubba, May 15 2012


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