Gummibear Gyro Gnawing Shop

The UK physical retail market is in terrible shape. City centres are wasteland of vape shops and American Candy stores. The larger shopping centres are errily quiet, a small number of holdout stores scattered among the vacant units. Governments local and otherwise have tried, without much gumption, to encourage people back to shopping in person. This has not got results. Likewise, real estate funds are looking to tempt people with a variety of fast casual dining options. This is also not working - why schlep to the mall when an Eritrean man can bring your peri peri chicken to you on his ebike?

What is needed is an experience that can be had only in person, which can be set up quickly and cost effectively, and which is readily franchisable. What is needed is the Gummibear Gyro Gnawing Shop.

All you need is a basic retail unit (to house the shop), a tensabarrier (to shepherd your customers), minimum wage staff (to ensure that customers do not outstay their welcomes), zipties (to ensure that customer hands remain at all times behind their backs) and at least one 175cm tall gummibear, mounted on a slowly revolving platform (for obvious reasons).

A maximum of eight customers (one tall and one small for each of the intercardinal compass points) will be invited at any one time to gnaw hands free at the rotating gummibear, until their ten minutes is up and the next eight customers approach the ever spinning treat.