Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Has Anyone Seen...?

A creative sentence to answer the query of whatever happened to [halfbaker].
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The Halfbakery affords an outlet for the invention-minded among us while preserving a modicum of privacy for those who might otherwise be visited by quiet professionals in white lab coats armed with pens, stethoscopes, hypos with cheerfully colored fluids, etc.

In response to a status query, a knowledgeable baker might respond, “She has retreated to a quiet place to count the money of her final reward” or “He was last seen arguing with the Collective on the merits of remaking the Cube into a dodecahedron.” This would at least allay occasional concerns that the individual had wandered off and found, gasp, something better to do.

The [halfbaker] in question could always pop in and state that the rumors of their demise were greatly exaggerated.

whatrock, Sep 07 2016

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       Something better to do?...   

       // quiet professionals in white lab coats armed with pens, stethoscopes, hypos with cheerfully colored fluids, etc. //   

       1. Sturton is an amateur, not a professional.   

       2. He stole the white coat off [MB].   

       3. They aren't proper pens - they're wax crayons. He isn't allowed sharp objects.   

       4. The "stethoscope" is out of a "Junior Doctor Play Set (Ages 3 - 7 years)".   

       5. The hypodermics are real, and filled with some incredibly weird stuff ...
8th of 7, Sep 07 2016

       //5. The hypodermics are real, and filled with some incredibly weird stuff ...//
The white one is... <taste-test> toothpaste.
The brownish one is... <taste-test> engine oil.
The green one is... <not tasting any more> fluorescent paint?
The clear one is... just saline solution, but marked "TOXIC".
neutrinos_shadow, Sep 07 2016

       //Sturton is an amateur, not a professional.//   

       He would take issue with that. He is frighteningly professional - we just haven't discovered what at.   

       Which reminds me, [8th] - he wonders if you've finished with that Mantovani LP, and whether you need another tube of the ointment yet (he's worried that you're using too much of it; I told him he hadn't seen the rash).
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 07 2016

       Has anybody seen [JesusHChrist]?
whatrock, Sep 08 2016

       Why yes, in the last piece of toast that I made...
RayfordSteele, Sep 08 2016

       // finished with that Mantovani LP, //   

       Thankyou, yes. To our surprise it was even more effective than promised - on the second playing of side 2, all the rats that hadn't run away already strangled themselves with their own tails. Amazing to watch.   

       // whether you need another tube of the ointment //   

       No, we're fine. Every time his rash and itching starts to recede, we just smear a little more on the rim of the toilet seat. It's not very fair on Mrs. Hollande, but he didn't have to run for President.   

       What's in that stuff, by the way ? Some derivative of mustard gas, presumably.
8th of 7, Sep 09 2016

       //I told him he hadn't seen the rash).//   

       Umm, are we to understand that you have, Max?
AusCan531, Sep 09 2016

       Yes, but it's pay-per-view ....
8th of 7, Sep 09 2016

       //are we to understand that you have, Max?// Yes. [8th] is rather, ah, matter-of-fact when it comes to things like that. On the plus side, I lost about twenty pounds in weight in the following weeks.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 09 2016

       Yup, eight seconds of viewing the Hollande Butt-Cam at breakfast time will do that for you, no problem.
8th of 7, Sep 09 2016

       I quite like imagining if a high profile people are writing on the bakery. Although I am not invested enough to seek through their public statements for common mannerisms. Just pondering is enough.
wjt, Sep 10 2016

       I got trolled by Clint Eastwood on Twitter. Does that count?
RayfordSteele, Sep 10 2016

       If I am lying flat on my back I have a high profile, these days. Also, Clint Eastwood is my boyfriend on Instagram. But he only sends me photos from his movies! He is a funny guy.
bungston, Sep 10 2016

       //I got trolled by Clint Eastwood//   

       //Clint Eastwood is my boyfriend//   

       One of these days, preferably before we all die, we should get together an produce a book. Or just drink a lot. Drinking a lot would work too.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 10 2016

       It's better than an idea, it's a plan.
8th of 7, Sep 10 2016

       Lacks specifics. Drink a lot of what?
RayfordSteele, Sep 10 2016

       A water-ethanol mix not exceeding 50% ethanol by volume, with the addition of reasonably non-toxic flavourings, plus dissolved carbon dioxide if desired.
8th of 7, Sep 10 2016

       //Drink a lot of what?// Asking that question suggests that you are not a serious drinker.   

       Obviously, we can exclude anything that doesn't contain alcohol, since such things are beverages rather than drinks.   

       Equally, we can dismiss beers, lagers, ales, wines and ciders - they are almost entirely water, and trying to drink them at anything like a professional level imposes an unrealistic burden on the kidneys.   

       I suppose fortified wines might be feasible - there is a long tradition of semi-professional port drinking, for instance. But then again, a serious drinker would argue that port is not a fortified wine, but merely a spirit diluted with wine.   

       That brings us, of course, to spirits themselves. Many whisky drinkers consider themselves to be serious drinkers, but in fact whisky is eschewed by real professionals. It has far too much complexity and depth to it to support serious levels of consumption - a bit like trying to set a good time in the 100 metres hurdles whilst wearing a dinner jacket. Much the same can be said for brandy, though probably with a slur.   

       Gin is nearer the mark, but then again if you're going for a clear spirit, why lace it with botanicals?   

       So that brings us to vodka which, as Jeffrey Bernard pointed out, is the serious drinker's drink. It doesn't muck about - vodka is basically raw alcohol with the minimum of water needed to prevent excessive combustion (or dehydration of the oral mucosa, for that matter). It is the only drink that needs to contain only two types of molecule, and only three different elements. Vodka manufacturers go to great lengths to filter out anything else that might get in the way. It is simply a drink whose sole purpose is to be drunk, in any sense of the word.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 10 2016

       This is brilliant! More than that, it even makes sense.
whatrock, Sep 10 2016

       // the same can be said for brandy, though probably with a slur. //   

       A slur upon any french product is entirely natural and proper.
8th of 7, Sep 10 2016

       //good time in the 100 metres hurdles whilst wearing a dinner jacket.   

       What? I knew standards in athletics were dropping....
not_morrison_rm, Sep 10 2016

       Tequila! Say no more.
blissmiss, Sep 11 2016

       Has anyone seen...   


whatrock, Feb 26 2020

       I would tell you, but then I'd have tequila.
Voice, Feb 27 2020

       Hahahaha, you so funny guy.
blissmiss, Feb 27 2020


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