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Hiding (from) extra-terrestrial intelligence - a global lightning muffler system
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Lightning generates strong radio spectrum bursts.

There are between five and ten million lightning events every day, globally.

Million monkeys / million typewriters / lots of time = Shakespeare theory.

We are listening for THEM (see seti.org) and if THEM is there then THEY are probably listening for US.

It's only a matter of time before our electric atmosphere sends out some message like, "Hey Karg! Your intergalactic destructor beam ain't up to shit!"

We need a worldwide system of highpower radio frequency generators set up to dampen these millions of radio signals before we end up offending someone.

ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 27 2006


DrCurry, Dec 27 2006

       I think I understand the concern epxressed in the idea. It's along the lines of the "Face On Mars" deal - if you see a rock formation that looks sort of like a face shape, then someone obviously built a face on Mars. But lightning dampeners? Wouldn't we already be in deep doo-doo based on the kind of crap we actually broadcast on purpose? Why not build disclaimer transmitters manned with lawyers reading liability waivers 24/7?
Canuck, Dec 27 2006

       You mean like packaging warnings?
Danger: this planet contains nuts.
Ling, Dec 28 2006

       //Why not build disclaimer transmitters manned with lawyers reading liability waivers 24/7?//   

       Do we really want to risk giving them the impression that we're a planet full of lawyers?
imaginality, Dec 28 2006

       //Do we really want to risk giving them the impression that we're a planet full of lawyers//   

       I have to say that if I were an alien I would be very hard pressed between running away as fast as I could and blasting the planet into atoms.
jhomrighaus, Dec 28 2006

       Go stick your head in a pig.
nomocrow, Dec 28 2006

       how will that help?
po, Dec 28 2006

       //"Hey Karg! Your intergalactic destructor beam ain't up to shit!"//   

       Don't worry; this can't be Shakespeare: it doesn't scan. So the monkeys can't write it. So we're safe.
pertinax, Dec 29 2006

       "Forsooth Karg, what weapon is that of which you boast? 'Dissembler of Worlds', say you? Verily it is as a whiff of Spanish posey to a London Sewer. It is as your manhood, scarce able to ruffle the skirting of a Fleet Street crone."
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 29 2006

       //Go stick your head in a pig.//   

       That's not even half of it!   

       But if this is true, a similar occurrence on their side is likely. How many messages of "Dorks", "Losers", or "We've been to Uranus", were dismissed by our scientists as being static noise, and how many of them were real?
Veho, Dec 29 2006

       I think if you set it up then generate a simulated Nuclear exchange followed by damped signal you could fool them into thinking we have annihilated our selves and that our planet is a radioactive wasteland.   

       One would expect that any advanced race would be familiar with a nuclear weapon and would recognize its signature and its implications.
jhomrighaus, Dec 29 2006

       Unless it was a race that thrived on radioactive waste...
jtp, Dec 29 2006

       well in that case we will become great friends when they arrive cause we have a lot of that around.
jhomrighaus, Dec 29 2006

       Seems to me that anyone picking up the Earth's television stations will pretty quickly conclude there is no intelligent life down here anyway.
DrCurry, Dec 31 2006

       Aren't there so many different sources of signal now in use (from bluetooth-style low-power short-range right up to the old AM radio 100K watt transmitters) that any beings trying to distinguish actual attempts at communication from all the "noise" would reach the same conclusion as [DrCurry]?
Canuck, Jan 02 2007

       So we create some kind of gridwork in the ionosphere? Kind of like what's on the door of the microwave, only larger.
Cuit_au_Four, Jan 03 2007

       What conspiracy, [phlish]?
pertinax, Jan 04 2007

       Nice try, [pertinax]. You're not fooling us.
imaginality, Jan 04 2007


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