Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hollow Flat Earth Society

How can it be flat and hollow at the same time? That's what we've pledged to find out.
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Donations accepted. Time to lift the veil of secrecy.

Did I mention we're accepting donations?

doctorremulac3, Jun 03 2019

jammie dodger https://www.google....gB&biw=1266&bih=609
[Skewed, Jun 04 2019]

Biscuits https://images.app....l/akqSFUgxR5JiqvxN9
[doctorremulac3, Jun 04 2019]

pomme frites https://www.google....eid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
pomme frites : "Places of origin: Belgium, France (disputed)" [Skewed, Jun 04 2019]


       Will the alleged hollowness be explored on the same budget or is that a separate endeavor?
whatrock, Jun 03 2019

       Flat and hollow ... well, at least it can't be a pyramid scheme ...
8th of 7, Jun 03 2019

       In essence, a jammie dodger, with magma, rather than raspberry, jam.
calum, Jun 03 2019

       //Will the alleged hollowness be explored on the same budget or is that a separate endeavor?//   

       Don't know, gonna need funding to put together an exploratory committee to look into that.   

       If I look up "jammie dodger" am I going to have to clear my search history afterwords?
doctorremulac3, Jun 03 2019

       No, but you might end up needing to go on an energy -restricted diet; a jammie dodger is a particularly pleasant comestible and is well-designed for dunking in a hot beverage while maintaining its structural integrity.   

       They are simply a small thick disc-shaped mass created from fat and various forms of refined carbohydrates. What's not to like (other than the small size of the packets) ?
8th of 7, Jun 03 2019

       Ahh. Cookies.
doctorremulac3, Jun 04 2019

       No, two cookies (though we like to call them biscuits).   

       With a dessicated chewy jam filling sandwiched between them.   

       The aforementioned "jam" (I think you call it jelly) is of a consistency that could pass for semi-cured epoxy resin..   

       But some people enjoy that ([8th] of course doesn't count), or so I'm told.
Skewed, Jun 04 2019

       We call jam the stuff with bits of whatever fruit in it, jelly is just the epoxy resin texture stuff.   

       Our biscuits are big fat things.   

       Chips are french fries. Not sure why, they're not french. Neither is the toast. French toast that is. I think it was a way to sell crap. "Hey, these potatoes in grease? They're all the rage in France!".
doctorremulac3, Jun 04 2019

       Similarly, "grits" are a coarse, utterly inedible abrasive, suitable only for mixing with cement as a building material, or scattering on icy roads to improve traction.   

       A physical representation of a hollow, flat earth - with the traditional "holes in the poles" - would presumably resemble a flattened torus with an ellipsoidal or lenticular cross-section.
8th of 7, Jun 04 2019

       //Not sure why, they're not french//   

       Well, they might be.   

       pomme frites : "Places of origin: Belgium, France (disputed)"   

       Not the potatoes of course, the style of preparation.
Skewed, Jun 04 2019

       //Chips are french fries. Not sure why//   

       Don't order fish'n'chips in some states or they will come with potato-chips. I shit you not.   

       I love this idea.   

       ...and I'm secretly leaning towards just hollow but we'll have to see what the donations favor.   

       If there are more than 3 totally interrelated distance dimensions, isn't the earth conceptually a flaterland with flater-landers compared to the unperceived reality.
wjt, Jun 04 2019

       //In essence, a jammie dodger, with magma, rather than raspberry, jam.// - I find the idea of a jammie dodger-shaped Earth quite appealing. So, there would be two 'Flat Earths', back-to-back, glued together with sticky jam-like magma. The inhabitants of one side would be unaware of the existence of, and unable to visit, the other side.

//a jammie dodger is a particularly pleasant comestible and is well-designed for dunking in a hot beverage while maintaining its structural integrity// - in essence though, the jammie dodger is the biscuit of a novice dunker who relies on the security of a firm waterproof jam mastic to prevent biscuitular disintegration after over-enthusiastic dunking. The true dunking master eschews such aids and displays zen-like skill in perfectly dunking a humble digestive with no loss of biscuit matter in the beverage.
hippo, Jun 04 2019

       Only one population would have access to the jam pool, too.   

       Are you proposing that giant turtles are involved in this desugn somewhere ?
8th of 7, Jun 04 2019

       // prevent biscuitular disintegration //   

       Excellent. That's going into my resume. Thanks.
whatrock, Jun 04 2019

       I am resisting the temptation to point out that (a) the item depicted in [doc]'s image link is a scone, not a biscuit and (b) my understanding is that Americans put gravy on their scones, which is patently ludicrous.   

       The word "biscuit", as everyone knows, is English in origin, coming from the middle-English "bisha guatta", or "twice as good".
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 05 2019

       Ok, I'm all ready for my next trip the the UK.   

       "Blimey, more scones mate? That's a fair dinkum of a crisp!"   

       Or is fair dinkum Austrian?   

       By the way, I'm not kidding when I say the first time I came to England when I was a teenager I was told to behave and not play up my being American so I wore American flag pants as a way to say "England, I'm here and I'm wearing American flag pants." It was actually amazingly well received but I was quite attractive in my youth. I think I could have gotten away with wearing pants made out of dead puppies.   

       I think I've mentioned before I also learned to speak with an indistinguishable fake local accent, at least in pubs where everybody was drunk. They'd say "From around here?" (I had changed pants by then) and I'd say "No, California." and they'd say "How long?" to which I'd say "That's a rather personal question." and laugh laugh how we'd laugh.   

       Ok, dumb, repeat story that's running on, but bottom I've always loved my mother country, and the English I've met always seemed to like me. Invited me to parties etc. Plus the one time I played London I sold out the venue. Maybe I've said too much.   

       Anyway, hope to bring my family there soon. I hear it's changed quite a bit. Should be interesting. I'll wear regular pants this time.
doctorremulac3, Jun 05 2019

       //bisha guatta//   

       According to Google translate "There was a break" in japanese, when typed in with the western alphabet.   

       Sometimes I'm not (entirely) sure if you've dropped into full blown piss-take mode or not (this would be one of those times), it either reveals youthful exposure to a far better education than my own or a worryingly obsessive attention to detail.   

       You are still taking the meds aren't you?
Skewed, Jun 05 2019

       //this would be one of those times//   

       Well, lets just say I have strong suspicions, but my middle English isn't sufficiently up to scratch (being non-existent) for me to be 100% certain.
Skewed, Jun 05 2019

       //indistinguishable fake local accent//   

       Accents can be pretty mutable when you're young.   

       Just two days in Gradbach & I began to worry someone would clump me for taking the piss, strange thing was I only had the locale accent when speaking to locals, two minutes with the rest of the group I'd gone up with & the accent was back to normal again.   

       Same happened on my TA training, I ended up billeted with a bunch of Scots & came home speaking with a noticeable accent after a week away, that one stayed with me maybe a day after I was back.   

       The chances are of course that the change was more noticeable to my own ear than to anyone else, but it doesn't seem to happen now I'm older.
Skewed, Jun 05 2019

       //not (entirely) sure if you've dropped into full blown piss-take mode//   

       When talking history or linguistics, [MaxwellBuchanan] is *always* in full piss-take mode (even if, as a double-bluff, he occasionally tells the truth). About genetics, I couldn't say.   

       Middle English is Chaucer's English. When you see it on the page, it looks at first like gobbledygook but, when you start to read it out, with the right sort of accent, it sort-of swims into focus as English after all. [MB]'s effort fails this test, though he might have had more luck if he'd pretended it was Old English (more endings in -a in Old English).   

       I think "bis cuit" is French for twice cooked (compare "cuit au four" - baked).
pertinax, Jun 06 2019

       ////The true dunking master eschews such aids and displays zen-like skill//
But I get the feeling [hippo]'s internal augmented vision has red led 7 segment displays showing the various dunking parameters.
"Oh that [hippo] is a one. Looks forward to his tea and digestive every day, sits for 30 minutes studying the biscuit, then dunks the biscuit to perfection and spills the tea every time. He'll be back though."//

It's like you've been spying on me
hippo, Jun 06 2019

       Well ... do you want the good news, or the bad news ?   

       Good news: you really aren't paranoid.   

       Bad news: You really are being watched 24/7.
8th of 7, Jun 06 2019

       Like i said to my wife: “Look at these paranoid people who think they’re being watched 24/7.” I laughed, then she laughed, then Alexa laughed, then Siri laughed.
doctorremulac3, Jun 06 2019


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