Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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How Buffy gets her exercise

a method for walking the dog in the city
  [vote for,

I dropped Buffy out the window—it was thirteen floors.
“So, you call that walking the dog?” Charlene said.
“Well, what do you suggest?”
“Torture comes to mind.”

But see, it wasn’t. Sure, some dogs might have a heart attack, but not Buffy. She kicks and kicks and she barks her head off all the way down, yapping and snapping at the air...to land soft as a daisy. She’s just a little thing, no harm done, and the doorman lets her on the elevator and pushes the button. In no time at all she’s scratching at my door and I let her in. Thirty minutes later, she’s yapping at the window again, so out she goes.

“I’m knitting her a cape,” I said.
Charlene just looked at me.
“Flying dogs should have capes, don’t you think?”
“I don’t understand why she’s not dead.”
“Well, that’s the invention. See, she chews on this bit that I’ve covered with the last piece of the carpet that used to be in the dining room, and the bit converts her chewing motion to rotary motion, which runs this little pump which fills up this air bag.”
“Ah, so that’s the rubber thing she has around her middle—but what if she doesn’t chew?”
I didn’t answer her, I just looked away—to hide my expression when I thought of that happy day when Buffy didn’t chew.
pluterday, Oct 06 2003

Meet Sgt. Geronimo http://tonyrogers.c...ws/geronimo_dog.htm
of the 507th Parachute Infantry. [spiraliii, Oct 21 2005]


       How do you fit buffy through the bars?   

       Good to see Charlene's visiting regularly, by the way.
yamahito, Oct 06 2003

       Remind me to steer clear of the streets below pluter's apartment.
RayfordSteele, Oct 06 2003

       [psst! I think you mean "Flying dogs should capeR"]
phoenix, Oct 06 2003

       Why would your dog need a special device to fly, with all those vampires it eats?
Detly, Oct 06 2003

Eugene, Oct 07 2003

       Birdie, birdie, in the sky...
nprnncbl, Oct 07 2003

       <aside>vicious pineapple flies in from stage right
"damn, must be buffet, the vampire slayer"</aside>
neilp, Oct 07 2003

       Very nice. Just yesterday I saw Hitchcock's "Rear Window". In it there is a woman that has a little pulley system, a basket on a rope, and a little dog that climbs in the basket. She lowers the dog down, it does it's business, then hops in the basket for it's ride up. No doggie airbag though.
Worldgineer, Oct 08 2003

       very sinister indeed.
benfrost, Aug 25 2005


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