Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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How It's Badly Made

grind gears and pour carborundum on them
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There is a series of tv programmes called "How It's Made" which show how many diverse products are carefully manufactured. Slick, well oiled machinery hums and buzzes, backed by a cheerfully chirpy background sound track, as the perfect little what-evers repeat and repeat.

I want to see the exact opposite of all that. I want a programme that shows stuff being badly made.

No longer will bread be evenly sliced, because the blade is now askew with many missing teeth. The wrappers will come out creased and stained, and the deformed loaves will pile up chaotically at the end of the jerking conveyor belt.

Pieces of the camper van won't match perfectly, because in "How It's Badly Made" there will be gaps to be plugged using bits of lino and duct tape. Electrical items will have wires that are frayed and dangerous. Food will have bird droppings falling into the mixers from the pigeons nesting overhead. Pianos will have a key short but an extra string.

All of this will have a similarly irritating sound track to that of the original programme, punctuated by an authoritative voice-over describing in detail each flawed step of the process.

xenzag, Jan 05 2011

Most unsatisfying https://www.youtube...watch?v=16v2eojZ_l8
(video) [Loris, Nov 01 2019]

[link]






       //Pianos will have a key short but an extra string.// [+]
mouseposture, Jan 06 2011
  

       Reminds me of those email photos that circulate: "Honey I fixed it!" with the house-hold air conditioner units duct taped to the auto windows and so on.
Ling, Jan 06 2011
  

       Up next, the University of Michigan offensive strategy!
RayfordSteele, Jan 06 2011
  

       This would be an ongoing primer in both design and quality assurance.
normzone, Jan 06 2011
  

       This was Baked in the 1970's by a number of companies with "British" in their title; British Leyland, British Steel, British Rail, etc.
8th of 7, Jan 06 2011
  

       I remember the British slogan at around that time; "Bly Blitish": a comment on the growing popularity of the japanese brands.
Ling, Jan 06 2011
  

       Idea doesn't live up to title. You had me picturing a show explaining why crappily made products are the way they are (and maybe some great sweatshop footage). Of course getting companies to agree might be an issue.
DIYMatt, Jan 06 2011
  

       // a show explaining why crappily made products are the way they are //   

       "Tonight: The Story Behind Windows 7 ...
8th of 7, Jan 06 2011
  

       Ooops! uhh... we'll be back after this commercial.
lurch, Jan 06 2011
  

       .... badly made commercial of course.
xenzag, Jan 06 2011
  

       Would it start with Mr. and Mrs. Gates Senior dating?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 06 2011
  

       I expected this to be a decent engineering programme, showing the flawed design or manufacturing processes that result in the cheap crap that gets shoved upon an unsuspecting public.
Some stuff I see (and don't buy) in shops should never have left the design office, let alone ever been made and sold.
[8th of 7], that story would take far longer than one episode. I used to like Windows and other Microsoft stuff (Office etc.), but the latest versions (Windows Vista, Windows 7, Windows Phone 7, the latest MS Office) are just garbage.
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 10 2011
  

       // just garbage //   

       We disagree. Even the worst sort of garbage often contains some useful items, or at least some components that can be recycled for further use. The same cannot be said for the current range of Microshit offerings.
8th of 7, Jan 10 2011
  
      
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