Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Human Resources Cannonball

You're Fired
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
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Irene was paged to come to the HR office.

She walks in, meets the smiling HR manager, who invites her to step outside - "We would like you to try this new innovation in office communication!" - where she is shown into the back of one of those mobile - exhibition semi trailers. The doors are closed, and we don't get to see what happens to Irene next - but we don't need to.

If Irene were more intelligent, she would have been excessively hesitant about trying on a garment called a "sabot" - but then if she were more intelligent, the HR manager would never have needed to call HR Cannonball, right?

From inside the truck, Irene can't see the massive barrel slowly pivoting up from the front of the trailer - nor the crowd of co-workers outside who have been invited to see Irene's departure.

The crew from HRC scurry around, making arrangements, receive word from inside the truck on the applicable weights and measures, then align the barrel with liability-defying precision on the spot at the far side of the parking lot occupied by the equipment belonging to the do-gooder company known as "SafetyNet" - their counseling and training programs are another story for another time.

A massive "foomp", and the lumpy fluorescent pink blob arches across the parking lot into the exact center of the net. Now everyone can stream back into the building and get back to work.

lurch, Jan 24 2007

The anno, about having no net, somehow reminded me of Derek and Clive. http://everything2.com/index.pl?node=jump
There was no-o-o-o blanket! [Ling, Jan 24 2007]


       TREBUCHET YOU BOOB. You're fired! (Good to see ya lurchie).
blissmiss, Jan 24 2007

       "...and once a month, one of the employees was brought in front of the others, and the others were told: 'Say goodbye to your coleague. He just didn't try hard enough'. The unfortunate employee was then Cannoned into the parking lot. If he was lucky, somebody would call Safety Net beforehand.   

       The rest wold hurry back to their work.   

       Lurch Incoorporated had the most hardworking, obedient, productive, but before all, -terrified- employees in town."   

Veho, Jan 24 2007

       If Irene was shot futher & higher, she would be able to use her "Golden parachute"
the great unknown, Jan 24 2007


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