Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hydrogen Offsetting Scheme

Be green !
  [vote for,

Much has been made of "carbon offsetting", to effectively zero out the impact of hydrocarbon fuel use in air travel or other activities by paying to have trees planted or finance other "carbon capture" schemes.

Since hydrogen is being widely promoted as "a fuel of the future" it seems eminently sensible that a similar "hydrogen offsetting" scheme should be offered to users of the product. After all, hydrogen consumes atmospheric oxygen when burned, and some of the hydrogen so released will inevitably be Deuterium, a radioactive element which is actively toxic to carbon-based life forms when ingested as "heavy water".

So, why not sign up for the new BorgCo hydrogen offsetting scheme ? Register via our website, and we'll send you a telemetry device that you can attach to your vehicle or other hydrogen-fueled power source. Then, every month, we'll debit your bank account or major credit card with a comparatively affordable sum depending on your usage and hydrogen oxide emissions. In return for the payment, we undertake to capture an equivalent amount of hydrogen oxide from the atmosphere by an entirely renewable eco-friendly method, and then separate out the heavy water to make it safe for re-use. Then when a hydrogen plant needs more feedstock, we'll transfer your "offset" product for recycling.

What could be better ?

8th of 7, Jul 10 2020

The Squire of Gothos http://www.chakoteya.net/StarTrek/18.htm
So, now we know [kdf]'s real identity ... [8th of 7, Jul 15 2020]


       I'm rarely left speechless. This is not one of those rare occasions.
Voice, Jul 10 2020

       Sp. fixed.
8th of 7, Jul 11 2020

       Hmmm, what is the catch?   

       1937- 36 deaths in the Hindenburg incident, in same year 32,000 deaths on the roads in America...so which one is safer...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 11 2020

       //I'm rarely left speechless. This is not one of those rare occasions.//   

       I too would like to comment on this idea.
doctorremulac3, Jul 11 2020

       It must be hell sticking the hydrogen to the oxygen, way to fiddly. Special tweezers?
not_morrison_rm, Jul 11 2020


       Second spelling check annotation, those are always super interesting.   

       OK, forget about the idea, I vote this worst series of annotations ever. Including mine? Ohhhh yea. I'd say mine are at the top of that list. But I think I can do worse with a little effort.   

       Competition maybe? Worst annotation?   

       Uh hum. "Hydrogen is stupid. People who like it are worse than Hitler."
doctorremulac3, Jul 11 2020

       Okay, I've got a stupid question. Why not scrub out Deuterium before hand and electrolize DDW or 'light-water' to extract the hydrogen?   

       I missread that as "Why not scrub out Deuterium by hand?"   

       Since you didn't say that I claim that idea as my own.
doctorremulac3, Jul 11 2020

       All yours doc.   

       The hydrogen oxides have a clearing wash out mechanism, the hydrogen spills not so much.   

       Although a much better scheme would be global campaign against heat losses. Super super green, heat offsets.Catch all those hot farts.
wjt, Jul 12 2020

       Another problem with free hydrogen as a fuel is that when obtained by splitting water, it depletes the earth of water. Cryogenic storage constantly leaks, and light hydrogen escapes into space. All free hydrogen storage has an abysmal energy density. The best known carrier for hydrogen as a fuel is carbon chains. For example 8 carbon chains pack more moles of hydrogen per volume than liquid H2!   

       To quote another annotator "[Free] hydrogen [as a fuel] is stupid."
sdgathman, Jul 14 2020

       You could use helium as a fuel instead, it's a lot safer.
pocmloc, Jul 15 2020

       Naah. Either Deuterium, or Lithium. Helium's pretty useless as a fusion fuel.
8th of 7, Jul 15 2020

       Dumbfounded. I own it.
blissmiss, Jul 15 2020

       // if you want a universe with anything in it more interesting than main sequence stars //   

       Oh, so it's you that's been leaving all those half-built badly-designed universes lying around, is it ? Weren't you ever taught to tidy up after yourself ?   


       "Time to come in now, Trelane."   



       "Stop that nonsense at once, or you'll not be permitted to make any more planets."   

8th of 7, Jul 15 2020

       // Had to start somewhere. //   

       Oh yes ... just that spiteful, petulant git Q taking the piss as usual.   

       // All things strive //   

       Indeed. So, behave yourself, or we'll take your FTB away ...
8th of 7, Jul 15 2020

       And you an alleged Pratchett fan ... thus are your feeble pretensions unveiled to the harsh glare of public execration.   

       Go and re-read the section of "Hogfather" where Hex writes its Hogswatch list for Death to read. Then, you may come crawling back, on your knees, over a vast wasteland of smashed bricks and broken glass, to humbly apologize for your ignorance ...
8th of 7, Jul 15 2020



       Why not try Mrs. Cake ? She's a medium ... well, more of a small, actually.
8th of 7, Jul 15 2020

       Suggested product name: "HyJacker"
AusCan531, Jul 17 2020

       Let us not forget that H2O is the predominant greenhouse gas.
bs0u0155, Jul 20 2020

       Cows produce enough methane to make them the world's third heaviest producing country, and at 1000 gallons per pound of water consumption in a lifetime they're behind humans.   

       Give humans credit for drinking extra water, and use the offset credits to eliminate one cow. The remaining cows can be shared.
reensure, Jul 25 2020


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