h a l f b a k e r y
Contrary to popular belief
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Ladies! Petite? Great! Unless you are at a show with general admission, and are standing on the floor. If you are towards the back, in front of you will be a wall of hulking immobile 6'5" foot men with uninteresting backs. If you are towards the front, there will be a mass of 5'5" men hurling their
bodies about. What to do?
Get back there behind those hulks, for one. Now tap your foot with the music. With each tap, your sole inflates and you rise higher. 24 inches will lift all but the petitest high enough to see the stage. An unfolding X on the sides of the shoes offers some lateral support.
Then deflate your shoes when the concert ends. Or leave them inflated and bounce your bounding way ahead of the crowd so you are the first in line for the ladies room!
BUNGCO recommends those who intend to walk in the Inflatashoes practice this first, in safe surroundings. Purchasers of the Inflatashoes get 50% off their first visit to the BUNGCO Pillowdrome.
How to run like Catwoman
Tumblr may go offline soon, but /r/tumblr won't. [notexactly, Dec 06 2018]
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||Would it not be more chivalrous for the gentlemen to
pack screens on their backs?
||Also helpful for when the parking lot floods. [+]
||If inflated with a mix of hydrogen and oxygen, additional altitude would be available at the click of a piezo igniter ...
||Regarding practice: If you practise enough, you can sprint
even in high heels, apparently. [link] And there are those
Russian "rocket shoes" that set off a gasoline explosion under
your foot every time you take a step, and apparently people
can successfully run super fast with those. So running with
these should be learnable.
||Also, the word Pillowdrome is amazing.