h a l f b a k e r y
A few slices short of a loaf.
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In order to stage an Insect Vogue event,
is first necessary to collect a diverse
of insects together, so that their
can be made to match and fit their
individual characteristics. Each insect is
then carefully photographed and
measured, so that the fashion designers
have accurate information.
Themes are then decided for the various
collections: i.e. sports wear, evening
gowns, lingerie, suits and formal, club
wear etc. Fashion forecasts will be
consulted for colours and fabric trends.
Mood boards for the ranges are
and manufacturing quickly follows, with
miniature sewing machines buzzing away
The tiny garments soon emerge, as
replicas of their human sized
Dressing the subjects is a task best left
experts. The insects are first harmlessly
tranquillised, then slipped and zipped
their micro outfits.
For the show itself, each insect is
in turn onto a well lit, miniature catwalk,
with macro lenses following their every
twitch and swivel, occasionally zooming
to focus on a hidden detail. Centipedes
will clunk along in a hundred pairs of
high-heels, spiders will coyly pose in lacy
basques, and praying mantis will stalk
along menacingly in sporty hoodies.
Giant screens project the images for
audience appreciation, as a commentator
expertly describes each outfit in turn.
Every garment is for sale in a
box, complete with large photographs
depicting their proud owners flaunting
themselves in catwalk perfection.
You knew this was coming. [ConsulFlaminicus, Nov 02 2006]
well, they are not real insects
[xandram, Nov 02 2006]
||How will you ensure that the models follow the catwalk, and don't stray up the walls and along the ceilings? Some sort of sugar trail, maybe?
||Those models have drug problems though - I've seen 'em passin' 'round 'roaches...
||Bun for the mental immage you created for me, I can't stop laughing.
||//How will you ensure that the models
follow the catwalk// train them of course
! (see my earlier idea for Snail Koans for
the method) and even if they do stray a
little, the cameras will follow like faithful
||Although I think Disney has done things similar to this,(but not with real insects) I'd like to keep the flies in leather skirts off this croissant. +
||Thinking that xen just wants to make a wasp-waisted pun...
||I've seen a praying mantis wearing a hoodie before...somewhere. I'm 80% sure it was photoshopped though.
||Just think how much more attractive that
Dogbane Beetle would be sassying along
in a cute polka dot ra-ra skirt.