Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Jet engines for homes in tornado zones

 
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Right, I'm almost certainly getting this wrong, but most of damage comes from the pressure differential (that is tricky to spell) between one side and the other side of the building, no?

Part 1 is the jet engine has intake ducts leading to it on each side of the building and pressure sensors open the duct on the side with the most pressure, sucking the air in, and so lowering the pressure, letting it exit to the side with the least pressure.

Part 2 might be for trailers used for housing. They are presumably prone to be lifted off the ground, by putting a rigid skirt around the base of the trailer, part of the jet intake would come from in that skirt, the negative pressure holding the trailer down.

<was poised to say "I've found the metallic hydrogen!!!" but it was a bit of an old chocolate wrapper. The search continues.>

not_morrison_rm, Feb 23 2017

House Scuba Self_20Contained_20...eathing_20Apparatus
[theircompetitor, Feb 23 2017]

Tornado-in-a-Can https://www.youtube...watch?v=jsrhU0gRu5U
Might come in handy. [RayfordSteele, Feb 28 2017]

Specific impulse https://en.wikipedi...ki/Specific_impulse
Relevant [8th of 7, Feb 28 2017]

Pulse jet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulsejet
Low specific impulse. [8th of 7, Feb 28 2017]

[link]






       Why not just use the jet engines to fly the trailers to non-tornado locations?
normzone, Feb 23 2017
  

       I'm sure no harm will come from storing large containers of jet fuel in every house in areas at high risk from tornados
hippo, Feb 23 2017
  

       Given that jet engines, particularly very large ones, are known for being incredibly cheap to buy, own and operate, I think this is an excellent idea. Sadly, the croissant I was about to give you seems to have blown away.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 23 2017
  

       Rockets. Solid-fuel rocket motors can be stored for years without deterioration and still ignite on command. Gas turbines need complex ancillary systems - compressed air, lubricants, fuel, electrical - that need routine maintenance even if not used.   

       Rockets, definitely.
8th of 7, Feb 23 2017
  

       Isn't this accelerating the wind in the direction it is already going? Do people really want to donate a few million extra horsepower to tornados? Anyway, assuming that they do this idea will contribute to a tremendous amount of tidying up. Jet engines are notoriously intolerant of flying debris, as such airfields have personell engaged in "FOD plods" to pick up any loose items. This principle will have to be extended, essentially, to the entire mid west to ensure that nothing can be picked up by a tornado and flung into an intake. Given the nature of tornados, the definition of "foreign object" will have to be expanded to include Ford F150s, cows, Wal Marts and trains.
bs0u0155, Feb 23 2017
  

       Actually, I had been wondering what tornado zones is. Now I know - it is jet engine for homes.
Ian Tindale, Feb 26 2017
  

       "Wal, ya know, Ma n' Pa Getchell's got one o' them turr-bine thingummies whuts sposed to purteckt that dubbel-wide they gots out on the end of the trailer court, and me and Jed got t' thinkin - jus' afore noon er so there hain't noboddy home in the whole court, 'cept me n' him - so we goes over there 'n turns it so it's pointed smack-dab down the court, n' fires it up - holy jee whillikers that thing is loud! but pretty soon it gets wound up and starts blowin' stuff 'round and we backs off a piece, 'n then them trailers starts movin', 'n tippin', 'n rollin'... purty soon the whole bunch of 'em slides right across the road 'n over the rail tracks! Funniest dam thing I ever did see!"   

       "Oh, 'n then I sez t' Jed, 'Hey, Jed! Ya' know whut ya call a homeless redneck?' 'n he sez 'No, whut?' 'n I sez 'Hey, Jed!' Har har har!"
lurch, Feb 26 2017
  

       Cheaper to have a smartphone connected to sensors on the walls/ceiling. The app would variously say "okay, hide under the kitchen table... okay, now quick into the doorway... under the bed", depending on shifting wind speeds and directions.
FlyingToaster, Feb 27 2017
  

       I really though this was to kill tornadoes. I think [8th of 7] is on to something about solid rocket motors and then angling them against rotation to kill the tornado.
MisterQED, Feb 27 2017
  

       //I think [8th of 7] is on to something about solid rocket motors and then angling them against rotation to kill the tornado.//   

       A typical tornado allegedly has about 4PJ of energy in it. Anyone know the energy content of, say, the SRBs of the Space Shuttle system?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 27 2017
  

       Yes, you're almost certainly getting it wrong, unfortunately.   

       It's not only the pressure differential. Tree branches don't really care about those. It's also the debris flying around.
RayfordSteele, Feb 27 2017
  

       OK, a quick Google suggests that the SRB fuel (with oxidiser) gives about 10MJ/kg, meaning that you'd need about 4 tons of the stuff to match the tornadoe's energy. Which is actually not as bad as I'd expected.   

       It also suggests that a modest rocket with the right sort of nozzle ought to be able to create tornadoes on demand. Somehow, the phrase "Tornado on Demand" is very appealing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 27 2017
  

       // "Tornado on Demand" //   

       Your words move us strangely.   

       // SRB fuel (with oxidiser) gives about 10MJ/kg //   

       You can do better with UDMH and RFNA, but storage is a little more tricky - rather more than the typical "Keep in a cool, dry place" ...
8th of 7, Feb 27 2017
  

       If there only were some way to make the tornado do the work that would be used to raise pressure and oppose the tornado. It would be very aikido.   

       I have noted that essentially every movie which has a tornado come heralds the tornado with an ancient rusted windmill that comes squeaking to life. Windmills can power things and so this principle might be used.
bungston, Feb 27 2017
  

       // an ancient rusted windmill that comes squeaking to life //   

       Not so; sometimes it's a little wooden windmill seemingly cranked by a brightly-coloured wooden marionette.. .
8th of 7, Feb 27 2017
  

       There was something i was going to say, but I have forgotten it...
not_morrison_rm, Feb 28 2017
  

       Was it something about Alzheimers, maybe... ?
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       //There was something i was going to say, but I have forgotten it...//   

       Was it, by any chance, "Oh, I've just noticed the typo in the title of this idea, and will fix it immediately"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 28 2017
  

       No, definitely something about Alzheimers ... why did we come in here, anyway ?   

       Where are the car keys ? Is it time for dinner now ? Who's that on the telly ? Who ? No, surely not ... what's happened to that nice Mr. Attlee ... ?
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       Hmm, it's on the tip of my toe....   

       Yes, I remember, pulse jets....rather less delicate than the jets I had thought of earlier, would need a blower to get them up to speed...   

       And...incidentally jets on planes are not too good with flying debris, but ground-based ones shirley there's a way to clamp a cyclonic* crap extractor on the front?   

       *In a very literal sense.
not_morrison_rm, Feb 28 2017
  

       So, a centrifugal tornado filter thingy on the front of the tornado canceller. That could work.
RayfordSteele, Feb 28 2017
  

       // would need a blower to get them up to speed... //   

       <DING>   

       WRONG !   

       Pulse jets have a low specific impulse. <link>.   

       They can be started in a static mode with no external equipment.   

       The V1 needed a launch system because the Argus was just a sustainer engine; once the missile was at flying speed, the thrust could keep it there.
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       Well yes, if you're running a pulse-jet inside of a house, the tornado outside would cease to be something to worry about.
FlyingToaster, Feb 28 2017
  

       That would rather depend where the input and exhaust are positioned, shirley ?
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       Okay, maybe just most of the windows and glassware, but I don't see the structural integrity beng improved by the process.
FlyingToaster, Feb 28 2017
  

       Everyone's too worried about integrity these days. It's way overrated. Why, not even the White House has integrity, so clearly the trailer-parks that are now running the show have no need for it.
RayfordSteele, Feb 28 2017
  

       Well of course not - integrity is like an ISO9000 registration, it's just something that you get asked if you have, and you say yes and show them the certificate, and then everyone forgets all about it.
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       How about building trailer parks on huge, freely-rotating turntables? Then when the twister strikes, the whole thing can just rotate with it.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 28 2017
  

       Well, of course. I'm sure that you can fill in the blank: "It would be advantageous and useful to be able to periodically ultra-centrifuge a trailer park to separate off the __________."
lurch, Feb 28 2017
  

       ... democratic voters".   

       After all, being the densest, they'll experience the highest forces.
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       Hang on a mo. I thought Trump was a Republican?   

       But, setting that aside, there's one thing I've never understood about these "trailer parks". I've never personally owned a caravan, nor been on a caravanning holiday. But if I did, I like to think that I would have the sense not to take my holiday in a tornado-prone area, during the tornado season. And if I did, and did, and did (respectively), I like to think that I would listen to the weather forecast, notice the word "TORNADO", and pack up and go home. So what, exactly, is the enormous problem?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 28 2017
  

       "Well of course not - integrity is like an ISO9000 registration, it's just something that you get asked if you have, and you say yes and show them the certificate, and then everyone forgets all about it."   

       HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... (deep breath, repeat uncontrolled laughter) ...   

       Okay, now that I can speak again, all I can say is that your world is a lot simpler than mine. Completed surveillance audit to 9001:2008 in December, working on transition to 9001:2015 for the next ten months.   

       If you'd like to do an internship I could use a good minion.
normzone, Feb 28 2017
  

       Should someone tell [norm] that it's 2017?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 28 2017
  

       No, leave him. He's in a little world all of his own, these days.   

       Quality systems will do that to you every time. He's at an early stage- or maybe in remission- note the lack of "!"'s after the HAHAHA. Disturbed, but not yet truly deranged.   

       Just be careful. He clearly doesn't realize he's experiencing a schizoid embolism... yet.
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       I had a quick look at ISO9000. Am I wrong, or is it all about immeasurable, touchy-feely, irrelevant crap like "empowering customers"? And if so, when exactly did we as a species complete the transition from actually doing things to formalized tombollockry?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 28 2017
  

       The day after women got the vote, is when - all been downhill since then.   

       <Tiptoes into escape tunnel, quietly closes blast door and locks it>
8th of 7, Feb 28 2017
  

       <sighs. Reaches for the blast door remote lock again.>
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 28 2017
  

       Put some oil on those hinges, looks like their in for a lot of use...
not_morrison_rm, Feb 28 2017
  

       When I teached business (which is all fiction, almost a religion) I covered quality, but found I could sum it up in one sentence (leaving not much else to do for the rest of the semester):
quality is the answer to the question "can we do what we said we were going to do?".
The rest of the subject is merely structural elaboration, quantification, documentation and evidence of the result of that question. That's all quality is - "can we do what we said we were going to do?".
Ian Tindale, Mar 01 2017
  

       //if you're running a pulse-jet inside of a house   

       Right, a set of pulse-jets in descending order of size, like a pipe organ, so you can amuse your neighbours with a rendition of "The Ride of the Valkyries" during the tornado, or just when you can't get to sleep at 2am.
not_morrison_rm, Mar 01 2017
  

       ... and neither can anyone else in a 10km radius.
8th of 7, Mar 01 2017
  

       " I had a quick look at ISO9000. Am I wrong, or is it all about immeasurable, touchy-feely, irrelevant crap "   

       [normzone]: The facts of life. To make alterations in the evolvment of a corporate system is necessary. A process group must be revised once it's been established.   

       [MaxwellBuchanan]: Why?   

       The ISO 9001 standard is revised approximately every seven years. ISO 9001:2008 goes obsolete next year, and 9001:2015 is now becoming the norm.   

       The standard is written to be extremely generic, so that it can be used by many kinds of organizations.   

       It does not tell you how to do things, simply that if you wish to hold certification to the system you will do certain things. Such as keeping records of some classes of data, having review and approval authorities defined for some classes of changes, etc.   

       You get to choose how you do these things, as long as you are able to prove that you do them.   

       It's like any other tool. You can do the bare minimum required to obtain the cert and just check the bare boxes, if you have an auditor that will tolerate that.   

       Or you can use the system as it was designed - as a tool for continual improvement. It helps if you have an auditor who expects you to evolve the company over time, rather than just check off the boxes.   

       My job is problem prevention, problem solving, and holding top management's feet to the fire.
normzone, Mar 01 2017
  
      
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