Christmas, apparently, is on its way. Inevitably, there will
office parties and - horror of horror - many of these will
feature karaoke. What to do if you are a truly terrible
How can you possibly salvage your dignity and reputation?
Have no fear, tone-deaf office party attendees,
come to the rescue with the Karaoke Tooth.
The Karaoke Tooth is a small, battery-powered, wirelessly-
charged Bluetooth (hah!) speaker which can replace any of
your existing molars. It is paired with the Karaoke Tooth
Pairing Device (henceforth known as the KTPD), which can
nestle discreetly in your pocket.
The KTPD comes pre-loaded with a wide repertoire of vocal
tracks. These tracks have been recorded by the finest vocal
impersonators of our time, but in each case they have been
made to sing whilst their jaws are braced wide open. The
result is a series of pitch-perfect, perfectly emoted vowels.
for example, begins with "ee eh, I ah a oo, u eh a-eh, oo oo
When called upon to perform, simply activate your Karaoke
Tooth and be sure to select the right song from the playlist.
All you then need to do is to mouth the lyrics, thereby
the necessary consonantal overtones, as the tonal richness
of Frank Sinatra, Elvis
even Mariah Carey emanates from your very own mouth.