Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Lake of Firesnakes Fun Pool

Dive into a pool where glowing, writhing "snakes" lurk in the depths
  (+40, -2)(+40, -2)(+40, -2)
(+40, -2)
  [vote for,

For aquatics complexes, this goes alongside the waterslide pools and artificial wave pools: a deep, dimly lit pool with craggy rock sides, wisps of mist drifting across the surface, and glowing serpents squirming near the bottom. The "snakes" are translucent plastic tubes, quite tough and flexible, with slightly helical shapes, running from one side of the pool to the other. They squirm because a pair of jacuzzi pumps send water through them and the helical shape introduces flow instabilities, and they glow because the water running through them is doped with a harmless fluorescent chemical and there are black lights on the bottom of the pool. The plastic tubes must be kept reasonably taut to avoid the possibility of tangling around a swimmer's ankle. The drifting mist comes from a small fog generator under the pool deck. The lifeguard should be a hefty, hairy, well-aged woman with long nails and savage maternal feelings.
Dog Ed, May 25 2001


       That rules out Muriatic Acid.
thumbwax, May 25 2001

       ..and showers of glowing cinders.
reensure, May 25 2001

       When I saw the idea name, I said "How on earth could a Lake of Firesnakes Pool be *fun*?!" Now I see.   

       There should also be bubbles coming up from the bottom, both for visual effect and to tingle swimmers' legs to give them the heebie jeebies.
PotatoStew, May 25 2001

       This is a cool idea, and I voted for it, but think about this: do we really want to find out what passes for swimwear for the Goth kids?
globaltourniquet, May 25 2001

       Every now and then an idea comes up that is just completely perfect. Bravo, Dog Ed, bravo.
ejs, May 26 2001

       Mephista-Undead Guard
thumbwax, May 26 2001

       Mephista: Sure you can lifeguard--may have to add some stage hair to get you properly hirsute for Grendel's Mum, though...
Dog Ed, May 26 2001

       soterios: how would the make up stay on?
technobadger, May 26 2001

       But why stop at snakes? Surely the opportunity to wrestle underwater with a lifelike rubberised crocodile a la Johhny Weismuller would be too good to miss?
I can see a whole waterpark on the theme - Snake Pools, Tarzan's Pool, The Flipper Pool, the Free Willy Orca Acrobatics Fantasy Funland....

       It gets my vote!
goff, May 30 2001

       You could always use some of my eurohosiery to simulate hairy legs. I won't link it as this is sacred ground around the pool
thumbwax, May 30 2001

       *grin* Water parks could suddenly become so much cooler. I want one of these.   

       Slight adaptation: Has anybody seen the water parks with the slow, meandering "stream" always crowded with inner tubes? Take out the inner tubes and turn it into the idea above. Snake River, anybody?
Delcan, Apr 11 2002

       I could see how to add to this experience: Amusement Park employees could hide in the foliage and wait for the customers to become acclimated to the spooky snakes. Then they could leap out wearing Tropical shamen masks, yelling "ooogah boogah" tossing gobs of artificial blood and fake body organs on them. Then a large animatronic dinosaur could appear from the bushes and urinate a stream of warm water onto the heads of the customers. That would be awesome!
phazed, Apr 11 2002

       Where's your hand?   

       I'm holding a firesnake.   

       That's NOT A FIRESNAKE!!!
FloridaManatee, Jul 18 2003

       words fail me
whatastrangeperson, Apr 07 2004

       //gobs of artificial blood and fake body organs // Do you really wanna be swimming in that?
spacecadet, Apr 07 2004

       This would freak me right out, but I'm not much of a firesnake pool-swimmer on the best of days. +
nomocrow, Jul 14 2010

crash, Jul 17 2010

       + good idea, great last sentence...
xandram, Oct 07 2011

       Sounds like a pool with electric eels and some electroluminescent panels.
travbm, Nov 10 2015


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