Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Laparoscopic Road Repair

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(+5, -1)
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This idea is mostly for pothole-patching. Larger jobs are possible, difficult, and inadvisable.

A goodly-sized truck pulls over into the emergency lane alongside a four-lane roadway. An operator in the left-hand side of the truck (if you're from the UK or other like-sided-driving country, read this idea in the mirror) signals the driver when his station is exactly aligned with the offending pothole out there in the second lane.

From the top of the truck, a half-lane-width arched bridge section, about 30 feet long and 8 inches high (that's something like 10 meters and 20 cm in the mirror, blokes) is pulled off the back, and then slid forward under the center of the truck. A set of sliding arms moves to the right, then under the section, lifting it very slightly; during a break in traffic, the arms slide the bridge out into the roadway. (The break in traffic could be created by a guy with a sign, if necessary. And if such courageous or foolhardy type can be found.)

After four sections are placed, we have a bump extending across two traffic lanes; the flagman can retreat back inside the truck. (If the crew is cognizant of their responsibilities, they will have placed a big orange sign proclaiming "BUMP" about thirty rods up the roadway. Or, alternatively, a big neon-green sign emblazoned "WHEEE!" would be good.)

Now, the road repair can begin in earnest. The equipment on the underside of the truck is affixed with attachments sufficient to reach out under the bridgeworks; the operators sit at consoles inside the truck and begin excavating, grading, filling, and patching from air-conditioned or heated comfort.

On the back of the truck, there's the obligatory "Men Working" sign. Don't be fooled. Every one of them is holding a cup of coffee.

lurch, Dec 18 2007

[CedarPark]'s masterpiece. Whee_20Shocks
Any excuse to link it is a good one. [lurch, Dec 18 2007]


       Why not have the truck be the flyover? Then it's just a matter of stopping, lowering the vehicle and commencing repairs. Granted, holes spanning lanes are problematic...
phoenix, Dec 18 2007

       I seem to remember Popular Mechanics or someone proposing a Pot hole truck that was very low and covered by a giant up and down ramp to perform this same purpose. I remember thinking at the time that it was nuts. Yours seems slightly saner, but "Wheee!" sounds about right, or "Ahhh, s%^&" as I drive a car with NO ground clearance (BMW Z3). I guess I'd speed up and Joey Chitwood for a few feet as long as the up ramp was gradual enough.
MisterQED, Dec 18 2007

       I read this idea in the mirror, and it is complete gibberish.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Dec 18 2007

       You say that as though the mirror caused the gibberishness.   

       [UB] - that's just one more reason Daihatsu pickups really need bomb-bay doors.
lurch, Dec 19 2007


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