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Left- and Right-handed keyboard

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Due to a persistent manufacturing defect which it seems impossible to eradicate, a small proportion of humans are "left-handed".

While the obvious solution is simply to cull the deviants as soon as they are identified and before they reproduce, this seems inexplicably unpopular.

Specific left-handed computer peripherals are manufactured, but are of little use to normal humans.

BorgCo has therefore developed a special keyboard to suit both normal and abberant versions of human.

From above, it looks like a normal, if quite thick, computer keyboard.

Turn it over, and it reveals a complete, fully left-handed keyboard with all the key positions including the numeric pad and function keys transposed left-to-right. A sensor determines which set of keys is active, based on orientation.

8th of 7, Jan 09 2019

Yashica Samurai in left handed http://www.subclub.org/shop/yashsam.htm
[Ian Tindale, Jan 14 2019]


       The even obviouser solution to the overpopulation problem is to cull all the backward superfluous and highly annoying so-called right-handed people (sic).   

       However, it’s an awful lot of bother going round removing them from existence one by one. Far easier for me to simply sit back and wait for the inevitable jump to human-to-human transmission of H5N1, which should take out about two thirds of the population, most of which should be so-called right-handed simply by statistics. Who knows, it might turn out that only the so-called right-handed people are for some weird reason highly susceptible to the human-to-human mutation of H5N1 (which would no longer be called H5N1).
Ian Tindale, Jan 09 2019

       If it's not called H5N1, what will it be called ? Martina ? José ? Amaryllis ?   

       If it doesn't have a name, where will the survivors, if any, send the letters of complaint ?
8th of 7, Jan 09 2019

AusCan531, Jan 09 2019

       Both of my in-laws are left-handed. My wife and her brother is right-handed. There's not much that can be predicted that way in terms of reproduction it seems.
RayfordSteele, Jan 09 2019

       We predict that left-handers that are culled as infants will not reproduce successfully.   

       This approach also addresses the problem of idiopathic left-handedness.
8th of 7, Jan 10 2019

       This is biased. If a standard keyboard is single sided and right handed, why should a left handed one also have a right handed side? Pure statistical favouritism. Make it single sided and left handed, is the only way.   

       Unless the monitor is also similarly reversible I suppose.
pocmloc, Jan 11 2019

       <Flags [poc] as a possible militant left-hander/>
8th of 7, Jan 11 2019

       Would swopping their arms over as soon as this defect is apparent not be a more comprehensive solution? [reward +]
xenzag, Jan 11 2019

       The market acceptance of that offering has been, so far, rather disappointing.
8th of 7, Jan 11 2019

       I might mention that the old myth that left-handed people are, on average, more intelligent than right-handed people has, in fact, been tested and proven to be correct.   

       Also, this idea seems to assume that left-handed people have some problem using standard keyboards, which is uyyer bollonks.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 11 2019

       I'm right-handed but militantly egalitarian.
pocmloc, Jan 11 2019

       // been tested and proven to be correct //   

       ... for a sample size of what, two ? One of whom was left handed, and the other a right-handed Democrat ...   

       This is another of your "select the data until it fits the conclusion" things, isn't it ? Like when you promoted sales of your anti-wolf spray on your market stall by having your minions surreptitiously release a hungry wolf from the back of a van ?
8th of 7, Jan 11 2019

       There are both right- and left-handed Dvorak layouts. I've never seen one in the wild.
I have seen a lot of "left-handed" stuff (rulers, scissors, etc) but 2 "handed" things I've never seen the "other hand" of are sewing machines and cameras. (Disclaimer: I'm right-handed (by necessity).)
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 13 2019

       There's almost certainly a direct correlation between the complexity of the manufacturing setup and the size of the potential market - high up-front costs plus small potential sales, even at a premium price, will militate against viability.   

       Some effort has been put into making some products truly ambidextrous, including firearms, but there's almost no cost penalty for doing that. Setup costs for left-handed scissors are probably small, too - same metal blanks, just whenever the grinding machine needs readjustment, take the opportunity to change it over to left-handed and run off a batch.   

       3D printing will make the situation better, when it becomes possible to quickly and cheaply print a replacement right-handed human and the old left-handed one can just be recycled.
8th of 7, Jan 13 2019

       I'm really digging Xenzag's arm-swapping idea...
21 Quest, Jan 13 2019

       //Like when you promoted sales of your anti-wolf spray on your market stall by having your minions surreptitiously release a hungry wolf from the back of a van ?//   

       That's a slander against my marketing skills, [8th], and you know it. I had my minions _say_ they had released a hungry wolf from the back of a van. How else could I demonstrate that my anti-wolf spray was working effectively?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 13 2019

       Spray it on Wolf Blitzer, see if he dissolves into a cloud of catchy headlines?
RayfordSteele, Jan 13 2019

       There was a left handed camera, a left handed version of the Kyocera Samurai.
Ian Tindale, Jan 14 2019

       There aren’t left handed keytars. More problematically, music keyboards such as found on a piano are actually backwards. When I’m imagining a sort of ‘air keyboard’ to music, I’ll wave my hands around to the right direction to go lower in pitch and to the left direction to go higher in pitch. In other words, exactly the same orientation as my electric guitar (which is of course left-handed).
Ian Tindale, Jan 14 2019

       Determined to annoy the crap out of anybody else using my computer, the trackball is situated on the left of the keyboard, where it shengfuically balances out the numeric portion on the right, and has reversed buttons (retaining thumb operation for the main click).
FlyingToaster, Jan 14 2019

       [Ian Tindale]; I'm a pianist, but for vague reasons, when I air-guitar I do so "left-handed", & I have to think carefully about the directions of "higher" and "lower" (I mostly "air- piano" instead...).
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 14 2019

       Also, in terms of purely the Y axis:   

       I notice I point more upward, spatially, when imitating lower frequency notes, and more downward, spatially, when conveying higher frequency notes. I thought this was normal but a lot of people seem to invert that. I must be correct, not only because it’s me doing it this way, but it makes sense because the higher frequency ‘higher energy’ notes register more with the egocentric ‘me’ here on the ground. Lower frequency notes seem far away, ‘up there’.
Ian Tindale, Jan 14 2019

       Just out of curiosity, what do you do if you want to tell someone that a basketball player was "about this high"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 14 2019

       // I'm a pianist //   

       We've heard you called a number of things, [neut], including... oh, sorry, a "pianist" ? Someone who plays the piano, right ? Not a ... yes, right, got it. Pianist. A type of musician. Fine.
8th of 7, Jan 14 2019

       I'm only a pianist in the vaguest (vague-est? vagueest?) sense. I'm not professional or even "good", but I can turn the squiggles on sheet music into an approximation of music.
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 14 2019

       Still, it must be interesting to be the object of envy of those lacking any musical talent whatsoever, like Justin Bieber ...
8th of 7, Jan 14 2019

       To be fair, Justin Bieber is actually fairly talented in all the areas that count. He’ll do well.   

       Cardi B, on the other hand…
Ian Tindale, Jan 14 2019

       Cardi B ? Sounds like a hospital ward ...
8th of 7, Jan 14 2019

       Having heard many of her popular tunes, I would agree.
Ian Tindale, Jan 14 2019


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