Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Lickable Egg-Beaters

My tongue just doesn't bend that way.
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These egg beaters look like your standard chromed steel whips, but if you pinch the inside loop together, the beaters fold flat, allowing tongue access to all parts of the glorious middle shaft.
RayfordSteele, Apr 19 2003

Careful with that mixer! http://www.bmeworld.com/amago/bodmod/
See what can happen if you don't unplug it first? [half, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       Oh, come on! That's the fun of it, doncha know.
Galileo, Apr 19 2003
  

       RS - that is, without a doubt, the most double-entendre-filled sentence I have ever read.   

       Excellent.   

       I suggest a wide screw (or two, rotating against each other in the time-honoured egg-beater fashion), twisting to push the beater out of the frothy albumen (and thus driving the white in on itself). It would minimise the mess in the kitchen, and allow easy tongue access (just stick out the tongue, apply, and twist). Probably easier to wash up, too.
friendlyfire, Apr 19 2003
  

       [ff]: You have a dirty mind. Now every anno to this will be tainted. E.g.:   

       Why not just use your fingers to scoop the yummy stuff out?
snarfyguy, Apr 19 2003
  

       ha ha ha ha! I love the halfbakers, you always make me laugh. Gracias!
Pericles, Apr 19 2003
  

       define: all the really important things that need licking later.
po, Apr 19 2003
  

       1/2?
po, Apr 19 2003
  

       Is that the beginning of the list?
half, Apr 19 2003
  

       you want to be first? fool!
po, Apr 19 2003
  

       First? I hope to not even be on most people's lists.
half, Apr 19 2003
  

       *slurp*
snarfyguy, Apr 19 2003
  

       MrK's is frightening enough in it'elf
po, Apr 19 2003
  

       //MrK's is frightening enough in it'elf// I would also have been perfectly happy not being on [snarfyguy]'s list. Yeee-ecch! <dries snarfyslobber from hand while running away screaming>
half, Apr 19 2003
  

       yer on mine - be very afraid!
po, Apr 19 2003
  

       Sorry [half]. Was just hungry.
snarfyguy, Apr 19 2003
  

       When we were kids (yeah, back in the Dark Ages) when Mom got her first electric mixer, my eldest brother actually got his tongue stuck in the beaters. Not the most brilliant of moves, and far from his proudest moment, but none of the rest of us ever tried licking the beaters while they were still attached to the machine. I don't have a suggestion for a possible solution to this problem, I just thought I'd share this family moment. (BTW - My brother was OK, but he became an accountant).
Canuck, Apr 20 2003
  

       //none of the rest of us ever tried licking the beaters while they were still attached to the machine//   

       Surely that must divert somewhat from the sporting aspect.
Shz, Apr 20 2003
  

       Thanks ff. Now I'm gonna have to change the category to Health: Sexual Aid.   

       Of course, this idea may detract from the development of a bihensile tongue, which is useful later in life...
RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2003
  

       Please don't.
angel, Apr 20 2003
  

       I should think that you could develop a "bihensile" tongue simply by recreating Canuck's brother's misadventure.
friendlyfire, Apr 20 2003
  

       I generally use the term "bifurcated". I have been avoiding revealing my physical appearance to the halfbakery, but, what the heck. (link)
half, Apr 20 2003
  

       Sound evidence supporting the revocation of a license to practice medicine, as far as I am concerned.
bristolz, Apr 20 2003
  

       What? All the work was well worth it. I'm a regular chick magnet now.
half, Apr 20 2003
  

       Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
sufc, Apr 20 2003
  

       wasn't *quite* what I was after. prehensile... prehensile. Dang languagifier.
RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2003
  

       Meanwhile, back at the actual idea...
Not sure what's meant by the "inside loop".
half, Apr 21 2003
  

       half, typical egg beaters, (the detachable kind), of the kind I'm thinking of have two steel loops at 90 degrees from eachother, crossing at the center shaft. Naturally one loop must be slightly smaller than the other and on the inside.   

       bliss, you're certain we're not adding to the problem?
RayfordSteele, Apr 21 2003
  

       [Ray]: the idea was pretty well overshadowed by the earlier nonsense and I wanted to make sure it wasn't just dismissed without some actual discussion.   

       I understand how the beaters are made. I have baked a few cakes. I've even repaired and/or destroyed a mixer or two. Are you saying that the inner "loop" collapses somehow or that the inner loop is rotated about the shaft until it lines up with the outer loop?   

       "Pinching the inner loop together" just isn't computing for me. As is often the case, I'm probably the only one that doesn't get the concept.   

       [blissmiss]: I'm pretty sure that there are a few depressive type folks already receiving therapeutic benefits from the 'bakery both directly and indirectly.
half, Apr 21 2003
  

       half, sorry I didn't make that more clear. It rotates. Pinching it simply releases a small spring catch of some kind. As I've seen beaters of varied and sundry odd styles, I figgered a description would be good.
RayfordSteele, Apr 21 2003
  

       Got it. That's what I suspected. Since I always lick the beaters after I make frosting, one freshly baked and lightly glazed croissant coming up.
half, Apr 21 2003
  

       Screw beaters. Give me the bowl!
tchaikovsky, Aug 18 2003
  

       I hope you all are not affected by samonila bacteria (like me).
Chomp Rock, Dec 28 2003
  
      
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