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Lie-detector keyboard

So that your chat partner knows your heart is true
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
  [vote for,

Problem - your chat relationship seems intimate, but how can you really know how the other person feels? How can you know if they mean what they type? In person, you can see facial expression and hear tone of voice, which are hard wired to our emotions and difficult to fake. In online chat, you have only words and emoticons, which are easily faked.

Solution - a keyboard with special keys that detect how you feel as you type, from the temperature and galvanic skin response of your fingertips, and transmits that information to your chat partner directly through a special "mood/honesty" icon that appears in the status bar of his and your chat box.

Other vital signs such as pulse and BP could be monitored with additional sensors, and combined in software to create an overall honesty/mood reading. But the basic idea is to use just the keyboard, which is non-intrusive and allows the user to forget he is being monitored.

Coming soon - For those with doubts as to basic anatomy, real time saliva sensors to monitor his and your tissue sex hormone levels.

robinism, Jan 31 2005

Inspired by Desert Fox ThermoBoard
[robinism, Jan 31 2005, last modified Feb 01 2005]

How To Detect Lies http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php
...from body language and speech. [Detly, Feb 01 2005]

Dirty Den http://www.myvillag...-lesliegrantham.htm
soap star, convicted killer, internet sexualist [calum, Feb 01 2005]

Google Meaning http://www.newscien...rticle.ns?id=dn6924
These programs will be the "I" in the AI that grows out of Google [JesusHChrist, Feb 02 2005]


       The only problems are that fake /acted-out emotions can produce those physical manifestations. And, you'd presumably still have to trust that they're really hooked up and not using software to key in the response.
sophocles, Jan 31 2005

       Dirty Den would hate this
po, Feb 01 2005

       Oh dear. I wouldn't want to please flamers. Maybe we could add to this input device some output capabilities, like maybe burn the naughty flamer's fingertips.   

       Maybe this keyboard could be good for exposing flamers. If you suspect that someone is a flamer, then switch off your lie-detector and say to him "You are right, you were always right, I'll never argue with you again, no one here will ever take you up in an argument again." Then watch his response. If it is a panicky jagged line, then he is a flamer, afraid of losing his chance to rile people up. If his response is a peaceful flatline, then he is a not a flamer.   

       I'm assuming you mean chatroom flamers, since this device is meant to be used while chatting. But I've never seen a chatroom flamer.
robinism, Feb 01 2005

       Dirty Den? Is that like a den of iniquity?
robinism, Feb 01 2005

       very nearly
po, Feb 01 2005

       I think this is the very best idea I've read.
Damn thing must be broken.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 01 2005

       //I think this is the very best idea I've read.//   

       At first the device was registering a falsehood, but I slapped it a few times, and it's working properly again. True!
robinism, Feb 01 2005

       Oh THAT Dirty Den! He chatted me up on the internet a while back. Said he couldn't stay long because he was at work. But before he could send me any photos, I told him about the halfbakery, and he was off in a cloud of custard, never to be heard from again.
robinism, Feb 01 2005

       "Do you think you could wear this 'slimming theraputic device' while you are watching TV, love, while I click and paste a few lines to my (Ahem) 'friend' on the computer?".
Ling, Feb 01 2005

       You wouldn't need the complicated input -- BP etc, just keystrokes and timing, and an AI program that learns from its users what speed, and arrangement of keystrokes, with what words, gets what response, or is rated by other users as genuine or whatever. BTW did anyone see that Google "meaning" article (link)
JesusHChrist, Feb 02 2005

       Maybe the keyboard could rate your honesty by the number of hesitations, stumbles, and edits you do.   

       That's an interesting article about artificial learning using google. The computers can now figure out a list of dutch painters, but - can they name all the members of N'sync?   

       I wonder if google searches aren't overkill. It seems like searching within all of the pages of Encyclopedia Britannica would give equally good data on word relationships with less computational effort.
robinism, Feb 02 2005

       I don't think those would be a fair measure of honesty. When conversing online (which, admittedly is almost never), I often hesitate and edit and re-edit. I don't think I'm being dishonest. I'm just trying to be interesting . . . oh, wait, yeah, I guess that proves your point.
half, Feb 02 2005

       It all comes out in the wash, [half]. That's the magic of this keyboard.
robinism, Feb 02 2005

       //That's the magic of this keyboard.//   

       Magic! You said magic! The touch of death for all ideas!
Detly, Feb 02 2005

       Did you mean the *kiss* of death? Or did you think that touches were more appropriate for this invention?   

       When I said "That's the magic blah blah..", What I really meant was "[half], don't delete your annotation, and now that I'm responding to you, you can't delete. Ha!"
robinism, Feb 02 2005

       My name is George W. Bush, and I want to say, world peach is a goal that we should all strife for.   

       Signed: Big Daddy.   

       Wanna chat?
blissmiss, Feb 02 2005

       Get in line, Dubya. Since Dirty Den's been suspended from Eastenders, he's got time on his hands.
robinism, Feb 02 2005

       What comes out in the wash? This keyboard is washable? What ever would I need that for?
half, Feb 02 2005

       No need to wash. Just run a vacuum over the keys to pick up any dry humor that might have fallen underneath. Solvents could set off the lye detector.
robinism, Feb 02 2005


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