Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Life Extension or Reduction Product Labeling

"This candy bar may reduce your life by approximately 15 minutes."
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Product labels are supposed to help us make healthy choices towards the end goal of living longer. The idea is to cut to the bottom line and give an estimate of how much your life will be shortened or extended by eating the product in the package.

A pack of cigarettes might get a -5 hours rating, candy bar -1hour, bag of spinach +1 hour, fillet of salmon +2 hours etc.

doctorremulac3, Mar 17 2016

Irrefutable proof of the link between the length of words in the Scripps spelling bee and deaths in the US by spider bite. http://tylervigen.c...correlation?id=2941
The numbers don't lie. [doctorremulac3, Mar 17 2016]

Diet is not everything. http://www.newyorke...letter-Cave-1-2.jpg
[MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 18 2016]

[link]






       Meh, diet's just not that important. The US is about 40th on the list by life expectancy. Japan usually comes in at #1. The difference is 3-4 years, which isn't that much. Then you add in traffic accidents, violent deaths (of the young which disproportionately mess with the data), drug problems etc, the "better" diet probably gains you a few months. As a social tip, check the person you're talking to at the party isn't a dietitian or whatnot before starting a similar rant.
bs0u0155, Mar 17 2016
  

       The job of figuring out actual estimated numbers would be a statistician or epidemiologist's nightmare. I'd suggest just making them up. Throw the word "May" in front of everything.   

       //A car by -2 years (a lot more if you do actually eat it).//   

       Lol. I'm guessing that cars, driven, not ingested, would actually equate with longer lives. If you live in a place with no cars, it's probably a third world country with shorter life spans. Epidemiology gets pretty tricky. (see link)
doctorremulac3, Mar 17 2016
  

       Yes, if you live in someplace that doesn't have cars, it's more likely that you're in a third world country. There are SOME third world countries with few cars but there are no first world countries without lots of cars. First world countries have better water, sanitation and medicine, food etc. And lots of cars.   

       It's that correlation isn't necessarily causation thing.
doctorremulac3, Mar 18 2016
  

       Also, if you're living in that third world country and there happens to be a drought on, that litre of Coke and three chocolate bars may increase your lifespan.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 18 2016
  

       Also, see <link>
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 18 2016
  

       What if you're deathly allergic to that food? Does that blow up the curve?
RayfordSteele, Mar 18 2016
  

       // The US is about 40th on the list by life expectancy //   

       You say that as if it's somehow a bad thing ...
8th of 7, Mar 19 2016
  

       There should really be a statistic of the life expectancy by those who would check that statistic. Willing to bet on that list the US is close to 1.
theircompetitor, Mar 19 2016
  

       I'm pretty sure there are no cars at all in any third world countries. I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure there's not a single one. Can you post a picture to prove it?
doctorremulac3, Mar 19 2016
  

       Didn't bite. Guess that was a little too obvious.
doctorremulac3, Mar 19 2016
  

       I've only got one I care about - it's my car pet.
normzone, Mar 20 2016
  
      
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