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Lightsaber Steak Knives

"Use the force . . . to cook!"
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Get rid of all guns, and let's go back to medieval days with an added 21st century twist. I'm not talking swords. I'm talking about lightsabers.

Think about it . . . You could hack down a Woolly Mammoth with one.

However, the real focus of this half-baked idea is the use of a lightsaber other than a weapon. I believe a more practical application would be a form of cutlery. Thus, I put forth to you the idea of the lightsaber as a steak knife.

Think about how easy it would be to cut through a thick piece of porterhouse with one of these babies! Imagine you are sitting around a dinner table, and your host or hostess equips all the guests with a lightsaber steak knife. I want one of these just for the cool noises you would hear when one is activated or when it is cutting through some dead animal flesh!

You could go to a farm, select your own cow and proceed to eviscerate it into the many choice cuts you purchase at the grocery store.

How much more interesting would cooking shows be if you could watch Julia Childs wielding a lightsaber steak knife in order to slice a loaf of bread?

The lighsaber steak knife can also be used to slice through any substance imaginable or for many otherwise impossible tasks.

Need firewood? Slice down a Redwood.

Is your car door frozen shut? Surgically remove it.

Need laser eye surgery? Need to amputate an appendage? Bust out the lightsaber steak knife.

Had a bad day at work and you need to vent some frustration? Hurl lightsaber steak knives at some pre-determined target - or - just use it to cause some serious random damage. I'd take a lightsaber steak knife over the Ginsu any day.

And yes, as with any new invention, this could be twisted and used for Evil. (At least you would know if the knife was being used for evil as its blade would be colored red.)

fatamericanpig, Jul 27 2000

A REAL Lightsabre http://www.halfbake...20REAL_20Lightsabre
Already halfbaked... except that I think bifftannon might actually be serious. [egnor, Jul 27 2000]

(?) plasmasabers.com http://www.plasmasabers.com/
Baked, apparantly. [hippo, Jul 27 2000]

(?) Lightsaber, sort of, but it would work for sure. http://www.prclaser.com/material.htm
Would look odd in your kitchen or at the dining table, though.
The videos of these things in action are pretty cool. Especially the one entitled "Tube Contour Cutting Action." [bristolz, Dec 29 2001]


       If it cuts through anything, what do you use for a cutting board? Or do you just toss the item to be cut into the air and chop it in mid-arc?   

       "Were you a Jedi, in seven pieces would that chicken now be...."
centauri, Jul 27 2000

       Good point. That leads me to a modification of my half-baked idea. Modify the lightsaber steak knife to have a dial in which "degrees of sharpness" can be set. In this way, you can set the knife to only cut through meat. Or, invent the lightsaber steak knife cutting surface. I only come up with the ideas. Logistics must be worked out later. Here is a little story which goes very well with this problem: "A king's scientist approached the king with a substance held in a glass jar. The scientist told the king that this substance can eat through any material known to man. The king immediately had the scientist beheaded for lying. How did the king know his scientist was lying?" Chicken or the egg man, chicken or the egg.
fatamericanpig, Jul 27 2000

       The other advantage/disadvantage is that, when cutting with a lightsaber, you're cooking what you cut. Hope you don't like your steaks rare.
bookworm, Jul 27 2000

       One of William Gibson's novels mentions a hair stylist uses a lightsaber to cut his clients' hair.
dominus, Jul 28 2000

       Of course, there is a nifty culinary advance to be made already, if we assume that fatamericanpig can develop his blunt sabre, and using bookworm's sabre-cooking notion - lightsabre skewers, for self-cooking kebabs! Use the BBQ sauce, Luke...
hereward99, Jul 29 2000

       How would the ingredients stay on the skewer?   

       Me, I'm just waiting for one of these to show up on Iron Chef...
bookworm, Jul 29 2000

       Do the ingredients ever stay on any skewer when you need them to? I suspect some half-bakery at work in the design of those things, lightsabre-based or otherwise.
hereward99, Jul 29 2000

       Armenian skewers work best for me.
thumbwax, Sep 19 2000

       The sabers at plasmasabers.com don't quite count as baked, IMHO... the blades are made of glass and not to be used for cutting, stabbing or poking, according to a disclaimer at the bottom of one of the pages.
PotatoStew, Sep 20 2000

       This would be far too dangerous for ordinary use. You drop the thing accidentally and you cut off a finger. How would you like that?
Vance, Feb 08 2001

       It would have to have a deadman's switch that killed the beam when not being held.
bristolz, Dec 29 2001

phoenix, Dec 30 2001

       Try a SonicBlade. It works like Seele Schneider, using vibration to cut. If they made SonicSwords, they would be pretty dangerous.   

       //cause some serious random damage//   

       The point of tossing knives in frusturation is so they will stab the wall. Your idea would probably slice a nice, big slash in your house.
Shadow Phoenix, Oct 30 2007


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