Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Outside the bag the box came in.

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Linear Ouroboric Parasitic Record Player Player

This isn't strictly a record player - but a device that can be used in conjunction with an existing gramophone.
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

A ribbon of plastic is extruded from an orifice at the base of one of the twin towers of this device, is drawn across a separating sheet of metal, before being received by the second tower, perhaps no more than 3 inches distant, heated, flexed and run over the top back to the head or the first pillar via some kind of taffy-pulling machine arrangement.

As the ribbon of cooling plastic passes along the base between the towers, a sturdy needle carves a single groove, imbued with vibratory oscillations matching those fed over the standard stereo a/v connections presented by the device for this purpose.

Thusly, using a continual heating, extrusion, feed, scribe, heating, taffy-wheel carriage- based cyclic process, when introduced *just-so* beneath the stylus of a live gramophone or record-player, allows the device to transmit audio - without further modification.

At any one time, depending on speed settings, the scribed groove might only contain a few seconds of audio before being destroyed at the other side of the mechanism.

The advantages are myriad, but the main one is that those used to the convenience of digitally recorded media would now be able to recreate the warm and undeniably {enter-audiophile- nonsense-here} of a traditional record-player in the comfort of their own home.

zen_tom, Sep 26 2019


       Ribbons! towers! extrusion! taffy-wheels! vibratory oscillation! Excellent.
calum, Sep 26 2019

       Perfume the taffy?
wjt, Sep 28 2019

       Mae West "Nevermind the taffy, let's talk about the vibratory oscillations..."
RayfordSteele, Oct 01 2019

       It's good, this.   

       I wonder whether it could be done using a wax disk and melting & freezing the wax.   

       Let's use liquid nitrogen to obtain rapid freezing of the wax/ taffy.
bhumphrys, Oct 02 2019

       Different coloured vinyl for “picture discs” too?
hippo, Oct 02 2019

       [+] and also a request for the disc version. Could use a vinyl disc sitting on the platter, then the device can have a "deletion head" just after the tonearm to melt and smooth the vinyl surface, and a "record head" just before the tonearm to engrave the audio track. A standalone unit that can be stood on any turntable.   

       The two heads could also move slowly sideways so the whole surface of the blank vinyl disc is used, to increase the life of a blank disc.
pocmloc, Oct 03 2019


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