Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I think this would be a great thing to not do.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register. Please log in or create an account.

Long Pork Scratchings

Fried fingernails
  [vote for,

I'm lucky enough never to have had the compulsion to bite my nails unless it so happens I haven't got clippers handy. It seems to me, however, that they could be made more appetising and appeal to veggies.

Even after three decades of vegetarianism, I really miss pork scratchings. What they amount to is fried skin. Sufficiently long nails could be fried with a combination of lasers and cooking oil in short bursts before the heat passes to the rest of the finger. Once this has been done, the end of your fingernails will be effectively "long pork" scratchings. At that point, various flavours of varnish can be applied to them - barbecue, chilli, dry-roasted peanut spice, whatever. Thereby providing you with an almost literally handy snack.

You could do your toes as well.

nineteenthly, Dec 12 2015

[po]'s somewhat similar idea. Flash Chewy Nails
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/flash_20chewy_20nails [nineteenthly, Dec 12 2015]


       We tried some Long Pig at last year's Walpurgisnacht celebration on the Buchanan estates. It was very nice, particularly as the Buchanan family have a long tradition of raising free-range Long Pig, then hunting them in the wild. That does wonders for the texture and flavour.   

       The idea is, by comparison, somewhat anaemic ...
8th of 7, Dec 12 2015

       Which reminds me, [8th] - did you by any chance leave behind a weaponized golf umbrella in the lower north-east conservatory? We can't think of anyone else who it could belong to.   

       Howevertheless, I don't think this idea will really work. Pork scratchings are so brilliant because they contain lots of fat and general pigginess held together with collagen and elastin. Fingernails, on the other hand, are largely keratin.   

       If vegetarians want to enjoy all manner of pig- based snacks, they should just learn to lighten up and take a day off every now and again.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2015

       Ahhh, we were wondering where it was.   

       You might want to be a bit careful how you handle it, as the safety pin is a little loose and tends to drop out at certain angles. Once it's armed, well, you've got a big problem, unless it goes off, in which case you never have any problems ever again.   

       Thankyou for the mandrake and beladonna preserve, by the way.
8th of 7, Dec 12 2015

       Yes, we noticed the loose pin. Damned thing left a small dent in the ceiling of the north-east gun- cleaning room. If you like, I could get my gunsmith to fix it; he can also bore it out a little if you like - .03 ammunition is so hard to find these days.   

       Preserve?? That was the pile ointment you asked for.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2015

       Skin is tissue, made up of protein and fat (meat, essentially). Fingernails are hair. I don't think they're going to taste very good, no matter how well you cook them.
MechE, Dec 13 2015

       No don't say fingernails are hair! They are the same kind of stuff, but saying they are hair makes one think of a primitive humans with hair growing out of the ends of their fingers locked in combat.
guncandy, Dec 13 2015

       Ah, so you've been to one of [MB]'s parties too ?   

       // Fingernails are hair. I don't think they're going to taste very good, no matter how well you cook them. //   

       McDonald's seem to have that one pretty much taped ...
8th of 7, Dec 13 2015

       I would be surprised: I'm sure McDonald's prefers glue.
Voice, Dec 13 2015


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle