Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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MIRV golf

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It was a perfect morning in late May when [The Alterother] and his father strolled onto the local golf course. A few other duffers were already on the links; they watched idly as father and son removed some rather unorthodox sporting equipment from their golf bags and began to assemble it on the practice green. One elderly gent, a veteran of the Korean War, removed his spectacles and began to clean them, thinking that his eyes were mistaken; shirley that couldn't be an 80mm mortar, could it?

With a whine of feedback, a military-surplus loudspeaker crackled to life and a great call of "FORE!" thundered across the course, raising huge flocks of startled birds from the trees. Then there came a loud PHOONK! and a strange projectile shot into the air-- white in color, vaguely cylindrical... That was all the other golfers could make out before it exploded with a BANG! and sent its payload arcing over their heads. All around the course, golf balls rained down with pinpoint accuracy: eighteen hole-in-ones!

Congratulating each other on yet another perfect score, [The Alterother] and his Dad tore down their gear and headed for the clubhouse.

It may seem like cheating, but MIRV golfing is actually quite a challenge; you see, once separated from the delivery vehicle, the independent golf balls describe unguided ballistic courses. Not only must the placement and lay of the mortar itself be perfect, but the internal separation charge must be precisely arranged to propell each ball a different distance at a different velocity. Preparation is everything, while the game itself takes very little time to play, leaving the rest of the day for more productive activities, such as drinking.

Inspired by [AusCan531]'s anno in [Vernon]'s 'Godly Golf course'.

Alterother, May 30 2012


       Bonus: it's an excellent way to train ordinance technicians.
Phaideaux, Jun 01 2012


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