Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Melee: the Game of Kings

For the glory of destruction and greed!
  [vote for,

Melee is staged in a muddy circular ground 100 meters in radius featuring two teams of 50 people each. The arena is constantly wet and cold due to heavy duty rain machines dumping water from above.

The object of the game is to get a basketball sized grenade with a timer of about 90 seconds into your goal, guarded by the other team, situated on opposite ends of the arena. What's trying to stop you are the fifty members of the opposing team and two UNSIDED goalies in armoured golf carts armed with cattle prods.

A referee is present, but only for the purpose of being a target for every unsatisfied player, spectator or other, and because of this, he is armed with a gun. Their presence may not even be required, as the only rule is that THERE ARE NO RULES.

Every so often, several weapons are launched from off-field into the ground, to be picked by team members, ranging from Nerf Guns and broken off car antennas to baseball bats and crowbars.

Once the random, winning score is reached, the losing team are sent off to "somewhere bad", while the winners jump for joy, catching wads of cash dropped from a blimp, as the arena explodes in cheering and fireworks.

And of course, anyone near the grenade when it goes off gets blown up.

mrkillboy, Sep 01 2000


       This would make a great massively-mutiplayer online game, but for real life why not make the grenade nonlethal? Something that would release a cloud of mace or tear gas, or pepper-spray the unfortunate victim, or shock the hell out of him, etc....   

       It'd be a lot more fun to see the players rolling on the ground coughing their lungs out than actually dead. It'd also make for more experienced players overall- and the grudge matches would be a blast!
BigThor, Sep 02 2000

       Isn't this called "war"?
egnor, Sep 02 2000

       The armored vehicles in the game called 'War' tend to have much noisier things than cattle prods mounted on them...   

       As to making the grenade non-lethal, why? Anyone dumb enough to play this is better off out of the gene pool anyway...
StarChaser, Sep 02 2000

       Ever seen "Gladiator?"
AfroAssault, Jan 14 2001

       I think that the losing team must be left in the arena and then fight with lions... of course we would need some genetics for preventing the extinct of these greatfull animals...
NickHunter, Jun 21 2003

       this is by far the greatest idea ive ever heard, and would make a krunk video game. im holding a tournament every weekend in the nearest local park... anyone wanna play?
fatboy3000, Jan 20 2004


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