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Missile Toe

For seasonal grumps.
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A pair of black Santa style boots, with a big gold buckles. A small gas-powered snowball launcher is hidden in the toe of the right hand boot, and a tiny trigger switch on the inside of the right heel.

Clicking your heels together twice while wearing the Missile Toes would cause the fake snowball to shoot out of your right boot and, with a little practice, you could aim right up the nose of any carol singer who was getting up *your* nose. When the festive season gets too much for you, use the Missile Toes to splat Christmas trees, tinsel daubed market traders, charity brass bands, and any other seasonal annoyances.

To house the firing mechanism and gas canister, the boots would have a platform-style heel and sole. To avoid suspicion, a third click of your heels would start one of Slade's 1970's Christmas hits blasting out of a speaker in the sole of the left boot, and you could stroll off looking like a Noddy Holder fan.

Although I won't be wearing a pair, because I love Christmas, I can warmly recommend them for easing boredom at your children’s nativity plays.

Fishrat, Dec 06 2003

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       pun?
neelandan, Dec 06 2003
  

       Yes. And an idea. Did you read it yet?
Fishrat, Dec 06 2003
  

       Where are the snowballs stored? Surely you get more than one. Not that I would ever do anything like this. (+)
lintkeeper2, Dec 06 2003
  

       Define: ever
thumbwax, Dec 06 2003
  

       //looking like a Noddy Holder fan. //? whats not to love?   

       anything to liven up children's christmas concerts gets my vote although the nursery class singing "away in a manger" reduces me to tears every year.
po, Dec 06 2003
  

       They'd be stored in the platform heel. They'd need to be either small snowballs, expanding snow-foam, or the paper-based stuff they use in the movies. Sadly, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be made of real snow.
Fishrat, Dec 06 2003
  

       tsuka, gggrrrrr for reminding me :)
po, Dec 06 2003
  

       "Your missile-toe is no match for my TOW-missile!"   

       Gratuitous Futurama quote. It wouldn't be a very big snowball would it?
EdZ, Dec 06 2003
  

       + Buns for Puns (and Slade)
gnomethang, Dec 06 2003
  

       [UB] It's not real snow. It's not between your toes. What's more, you should be wearing two pairs of socks at this time of year. Even if you are in the southern hemisphere.
Fishrat, Dec 06 2003
  

       OK [UB], you're allowed to wear open toe sandals... with two pairs of socks.
Fishrat, Dec 08 2003
  

       I thought it was only the Poms that wore socks with sandals...
Micky Dread, Dec 09 2003
  

       Seasonal, isnt i t?
DesertFox, Dec 20 2005
  

       I would say you ripped off my Rocket Shoes, but I'm about two years late.
notmarkflynn, Dec 22 2005
  


 

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