Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I never imagined it would be edible.

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Mobile Mona Lisa

Circles the Louvre, no lines, she comes to you.
  [vote for,

A track would be built inside all the walls of the Louvre with glass on one side. The Mona Lisa would travel throughout the museum at about 3 miles per hour. Sections along the path would be numbered and you'd sign up to stand on your assigned number at the time the Mona Lisa passes by you so you wouldn't have any waiting time. "Oh, 2:15, our private 60 second exhibit is in 5 minutes, let's get to our space."

You'd have to show your assigned code on your phone to a reader on that section or the painting would be blacked out so nobody would be able to cheat. If they ran to a section reserved for somebody else the screen would be blacked out.

People following her around would be mocked and disparaged.

Actually, instead of traveling slowly, it would zip from cubicle to cubicle and just stay there for one minute so you have 60 seconds to take your stupid selfie before it quickly moves to the next cubicle.

Now somebody could say "Why not just have scheduled viewings at one spot with it not moving around?" You'd still have a mess of people trying to get to that one spot, sometimes rushing and even pushing other people out of the way, this spreads the viewing area to all over the facility with no lines or crowds in any particular area.

In other words, it disburses the crowd and the line, breaks it into little pieces. You just relaxedly proceed to your viewing point and wait a minute or two just to play it safe. Beats waiting for hours.

doctorremulac3, Sep 12 2023

Inspired by Xenzag's idea. I_27m_20The_20Mona_20Lisa
She suggested having dozens all around the facility, only one being real. I stole that and modified it to being dozens of viewing cubicles that the original cycles through. [doctorremulac3, Sep 12 2023]

The Eyes Have It https://www.gutenbe...31516-h/31516-h.htm
… his eyes slowly roved about the room.... [a1, Sep 12 2023]

Art museum on an assembly line? https://upload.wiki..._industry_north.jpg
Wait, no, that’s an assembly line in an art museum [a1, Sep 13 2023]

d'apres Jean Genet https://memoirsofth...insofarembrandt.pdf
... the man once compared to "a rather intelligent button mushroom". [pertinax, Sep 21 2023]


       //it disburses the crowd//   

       That would be an impressive and surreal sight, albeit slightly disturbing; an extension into meatspace of the monetisation of eyeballs. However, it is more likely that the proposed idea would just disperse the crowd.
pertinax, Sep 12 2023

       // monetization of eyeballs //   

       The Eyes Have It (link), whether disbursed or dispersed. But be not dispirited, it's all under control!
a1, Sep 12 2023

       Occurs to me, you could just have the whole art gallery on an assembly line. Sit in your booth drinking wine and chat about the paintings as they pass by.
doctorremulac3, Sep 12 2023

       "Ah yes, this was from Picasso's 'motion blur' period"
hippo, Sep 13 2023

Voice, Sep 13 2023

       Could also have a massive array of Fresnel lenses in front of the original so millions of people could view it close up simultaneously
pocmloc, Sep 13 2023

       Millions? The painting would flashburn from the extra light needed.
Voice, Sep 13 2023

       Plug everyone's brain into the neurolink net and you could need only one set of eyes looking at it.
RayfordSteele, Sep 13 2023

       Or cut it into loads of tiny pieces and distribute them. That way people can genuinely say they saw {a part of} the original.
pocmloc, Sep 13 2023

       Excellent category choice by the way.
pocmloc, Sep 13 2023

       Oops. Thx
doctorremulac3, Sep 13 2023

       //She// Wait, I've been living in a bubble all these years.   

       All this time I've been flirting with a girl. Oh, my heavens.   

       But wait a minute...this sounds better than I thought. A more empathetic perspective, understanding, kinder, more well rounded, easier to maintain peace with...Yup, I accept this dose of reality with much gratitude.
blissmiss, Sep 19 2023

       // She //   

       Nah, that was only a ploy. Unless pretending to be a man who only pretended to be a woman is a ploy. Believe whichever makes you happy.
a1, Sep 19 2023

       Sounds like a great premise for a Hollywood movie.   

       //pretending to be a man who only pretended to be a woman//   

       Sort of...
blissmiss, Sep 20 2023

a1, Sep 20 2023

       Jean Genet was thinking something similar, [pocmloc] - see link.
pertinax, Sep 21 2023

       No, Streisand. I never say V/V.
blissmiss, Sep 21 2023

       Never say, as an aversion? Or never saw, as in you missed it?
a1, Sep 22 2023


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