Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Monkey Bar Pedestrian Overpass

All the world's a playground
  (+29, -5)(+29, -5)(+29, -5)
(+29, -5)
  [vote for,

Worker Joe approaches a busy 4-lane intersection, stopping at the curb to wait for the crosswalk. It's the 5th time this morning he's been stopped at a crosswalk because the traffic lights in his city are timed for the cars to see green, not the pedestrians. He mashes the button impatiently, but knows somewhere in his subconscious that it does nothing to decrease the timer interval. Even once he gets the signal, he stops four lanes of traffic for a good 30 seconds, a complete waste. The next intersection is newer, and has a simple metal monkey bar set extending across the intersection, even across the diagonal. Worker (yes, that was his first name, not his job title) crosses without disrupting traffic, getting some exercise and blisters to boot.

The stoplights and things hang from these bars, and city service workers can access them for repairs without stopping up traffic. Some high-powered business execs run across the tops of the monkey bars, just like those kids at school, but most people just take it hand over hand.

Not great for the handicapped, but much cheaper for the city ("if you don't mind killing the civilians") than pedestrian overpasses or tunnels.

Ketchupybread, Jul 30 2007


       Nice - totally explained in four words, the rest is just scene setting. Moreover, in those four words you immediately grasp that this is a) fun b) logical and c) suicidal. Can't bun this enough.
wagster, Jul 30 2007

       I'd prefer a tightrope, but monkey bars are okay.
phundug, Jul 30 2007

       Croissant - I was recently reflecting on my diminished upper body strength, and thinking that I'd like to see wide scale deployment of monkey bars/climbing frames.
DrCurry, Jul 30 2007

       Meh, a bridge of brachiation - fun, but as you say, likely to kill manestrians, especially tall ones attempting routes frequented by double-decker buses.
zen_tom, Jul 30 2007

       The body of the idea is the literary equivalent of monkey bars, but I'll give it + anyway.
ldischler, Jul 30 2007

       Not so good if your hands get too sweaty. Bun anyway.
jaksplat, Jul 30 2007

       even better if there are trained monkeys on hand to assist the less able - love it +
xenzag, Jul 30 2007

       What if you're on your way home from the shops? You'd need to hook your shopping bags onto your feet or something.
zen_tom, Jul 30 2007

       //Not so good if your hands get too sweaty.//
In that case, it turns into "Running With the Cars."
ldischler, Jul 30 2007

       Wouldn't work in my city. Vancouver BC Canada has overhead wires for the busses.   

       So either the busses would have to be changed over to gas powered, or you would have to pull your knees up to your chest to go over the high voltage wire grid.   

       [+] for the idea.
Giblet, Jul 31 2007

       A network of "Flying Foxes" would be more fun and acheive much the same vision.
hippo, Jul 31 2007

       What, bats?
wagster, Jul 31 2007

       The cable-slide thingies.
Jinbish, Jul 31 2007

       //cable-slide thingies//   

       Quite often called "Death Slides". Quite apt if it were implemented here methinks...
theleopard, Jul 31 2007

       Or zip-lines. I want one that goes from my bedroom window, over the railway and into the beer garden.
wagster, Jul 31 2007

       beer garden
sp: swimming pool filled with beer and joyousness (more beer).
Jinbish, Jul 31 2007

       Pedestrian crossing courier - someone carries you across the road.
hippo, Jul 31 2007

       someone dressed as a boy scout
// carries you across the road//
Jinbish, Jul 31 2007

       genius; what [wagster] said. [+]
pertinax, Jul 31 2007

       Ketchupybread, I like your spunk, but this idea will never fly. Too many dropped items (and people) will be lawsuit heaven and the thing will be canned before it's begun.   

       Now, if you had said "Human AirTube Crosswalks" then we might have had something!
k_sra, Jul 31 2007

       o.k. for teenagers. too much effort for the rest of us.
po, Jul 31 2007

       this is by far the best idea I've seen on the bakery   

       Build them over rail crossings too.   


       An entire bread truck filled with trays of crossiants to you Sir.
evilpenguin, Aug 01 2007

       How do I hang onto my briefcase / laptop / sandwich / cellphone? Perhaps a military-type rope rapell would be better.
RayfordSteele, Aug 14 2007


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