Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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New from BorgCo pharmaceuticals, get on board the latest health fad !

Lots of people take vitamin supplements. Now, you can also buy mortimins, in case you are worried you may have overdosed on vitamins.

Mortamins contain your recommended maximum daily dose of a huge range of elements and compounds, from Arsenic to Zambian spitting toad venom. Chlorophenols, asbestos, persistent nerve agents, heavy metals, vegetable alkaloids - as much as you can (safely ? *** NB check that with Legal) take of a massive range of things that will do you no good at all and in all probability quite a lot of harm (but it's a free country, allegedly).

Mortamins are packed in a small plastic container inside a very large cardboard box, because there has to be room for all the disclaimers, warnings and waviers.

8th of 7, Nov 04 2015

Mortamins sound like toxic waste http://klipd.com/wa...p/toxic-waste-scene
If you take mortamins this may happen to you. [travbm, Nov 05 2015]

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       What percent of your daily LD50 do you think would be appropriate? Homeopathic dosages would be great for profit margin, except for ingredients with negative unit costs...
lurch, Nov 04 2015

       // What percent of your daily LD50 do you think would be appropriate? //   

       We're open to suggestions.   

       Ask your funeral director if Mortamins are right for you ...
8th of 7, Nov 04 2015

       I think that guy that turned into a mutant in Robo Cop took that. You know the guy that got covered in all the toxic waste.
travbm, Nov 04 2015

       //Ask your funeral director if Mortamins are right for you // I will, but in till then I think should start vaping
evilpenguin, Nov 05 2015

       Hey, does it smell funny in here? [+]
Grogster, Nov 09 2015


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