Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mosquitoes On A Plane

a halfbaked tale of thrilling woe and frustrating stupidity
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Not 'snakes on a plane', but a similar set up, only the mosquitos are naturally of the clandestine military type, infected with a cocktail of various nasties like The Ziko virus.

They were intended to be transported for subsequent secret biological warfare release in an area currently dominated by 'you can guess', but of course a spot of turbulence, and a sloppy lock-down of the supposedly secure Trump Industry containers (made cheaply to save money), and out come the voracious mosquitos within the big Airbus A380.

Our story evolves, as the only way to detect the presence of the individual flying toxic demons of death is to fly in silence with the lights all off, to listen for their incessant buzzing. There are of course many obstacles to frustrate and aggravatingly thwart this mad initial plan - like: the crying child who just won't be quieted; the passenger who refuses to turn off her hissing headphones; the ranting born again fanatic who insits everything is the devil's work. (it really, really is you know)

Of course the plane cannot open its doors on eventual landing for fear that even one of the terrifying micro beasties will escape undetected, nor can any of the passengers be allowed to depart to spread disease and tell their tale. The situation is really dire. All seems lost and totally impossible to resolve.

Naturally I cannot reveal any more detail here, especially the 'real' ending, when my Hollywood pitch is so close, but let's just say that a batch of flaky croissants, smelly fish bones and custard guzzling hamsters are vital components in the story.

xenzag, Aug 30 2016

The_20Reversal_20of_20the_20Great_20Greed concerning the matter of one thing eating another, or in this case, regurgitating [xenzag, Sep 01 2016]


       Civil aircraft carry a stock of pressurised "fogger" aerosol cans, loaded with a delicious cocktail of extremely powerful and toxic insecticides, for use when departing locations where mosquitoes and their like may try to stow away. It's vicious stuff, but very effective.   

       Your plot device will need to account for this - leaky cans, resistant insects, whatever.
8th of 7, Aug 30 2016

       So now they've invented something called Ziko virus?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 31 2016

       Yes.... Zika was child's play compared to Ziko.
xenzag, Aug 31 2016

       Perhaps they just decided to avoid the iterations of the disease, Zika II, Zika - The New Beginning and go straight to Ziko.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 31 2016

       The "Mrs. Cornelius" virus doesn't sound that bad.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 31 2016

       //doesn't sound that bad.   

       It's all in the marketing..   

       Thinking about it...wouldn't a teeny gatling gun firing ice pellets be a good way of killing mosquitoes...<cuts to that bit in Predator>...
not_morrison_rm, Aug 31 2016

       Ducks eat mosquitoes so the best strategy, when the mosquitoes escape from their escape-proof container, is to release the consignment of live ducks in the cargo hold. This approach (successively releasing higher predators) gives you a good strategy for writing film sequels - e.g. "Mosquitoes on a plane" -> "Ducks on a plane" -> "Foxes on a plane" -> etc...
hippo, Sep 01 2016

       //successively releasing higher predators// Now _that_ is the kind of thinking that leads to blockbuster movie franchises. I'm seeing "There Was an Old Woman IV" hitting screens internationally. I'm seeing Woody Allen as the fly, maybe Meryl Streep as the old woman...
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 01 2016

       Ah - The Hippo has cracked it (though in deference to the HB, we need to include fish and hamsters in the food chain)
xenzag, Sep 01 2016

       Suggested casting for Max's Human Centipede: Nesting
Old Woman: Streep
Fly: Woody Allen
Spider: Phil Spector
Bird: Margaret Dumont
Cat: Sean Young
Dog: Keanu Reeves
Goat: Christopher Timothy
Cow: Emil Cioran
Horse: Richard Harris
calum, Sep 01 2016

       And when winter comes, the gorillas freeze to death.
mitxela, Sep 01 2016

       [xenzag] Thanks, although it should be noted that any extension of the "X -> X+1 on a plane" sequel-generating algorithm invariably ends up at a sort of Jurassic Park crossover "Velociraptors on a plane" end-point.
hippo, Sep 01 2016

       Rattlesnake: Hillary Clinton
8th of 7, Sep 01 2016

       Mosquitoes don't bite me anymore. They go for the sweeter, more masculine blood of my husband. I've grown bitter in my old age, I guess. Not that I miss them, per se, but I feel bad for my honey when we go somewhere because he gets double bit. Taking one for the team, I guess.   

       And the ending of this film makes me almost hysterical with anxiety because I get claustrophobic on airplanes sitting still. I'd probably go for Streep's throat or something.
blissmiss, Sep 01 2016


       Not to be confused with the Groucho and Harpo viruses.
pertinax, Sep 05 2016

8th of 7, Sep 05 2016

       Epicycles, epi mosquitoes, epi passengers - effreybody is ferrrrrry epi.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 05 2016

       Not really. Have you heard the cost of those lately?
RayfordSteele, Sep 05 2016


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