h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Mr Dyson likes to diversify his patented vacuum cleaner technology, and has noticed "a significant gap in the market".
Chop-sticks are excellent, but not great for eating any kind of "particle" food, like boiled rice. Mr Dyson's Chop-sticks solve this problem. Here's how they work:
The two chop-sticks
are hollow and terminate in rows of tiny holes. Each chopstick is connected via a flexible tube to one of Mr Dyson's patented vacuum devices. Now when you insert the chopsticks into your meal, the vacuum sucks a cluster of food around the holes at each of the ends, and very little of it falls off before you can get it into your mouth.
The whole apparatus comes with a reservoir into which the chop-sticks must periodically be placed so that their vacuum holes can be cleared of any clogging created by sticky food particles. The vacuum pump automatically reverses, then delivers a short blast of compressed air to achieve the resulting cleaning action. Food consumption then resumes.
Mr Dyson's Chop-sticks are totally bagless, so no loss of suction ever occurs.
aside: prolonged lingering of Mr Dyson's Chop-stick in the mouth have been known to create a condition commonly referred to as Mao Tse's Tongue.
[link]
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Ha - that's why it says "particle" food. |
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Always with the negative..... thanks for letting me know what I meant by the way. |
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//Reasonable criticism if you ask me// - what happened to having a laugh here, and inventing mad fun products? |
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//what happened to having a laugh here, and inventing
mad fun products// I guess the same thing as having
robust discussions on the relative merits of an idea
without anyone taking it personally - oh no, actually
that's always happened - as you were. |
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If you ask me, the "sauce problem" represents an opportunity. How about a sauce trap somewhere in the system? There could be valves that permit ejection of the sauce from the tips of the chopsticks when suction is reversed. Diners would then have the opportunity to enjoy a backwash of sauce melange periodically during the meal. |
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//Noodles and rice are like sponges// |
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That is the sort of ill-considered, offhand comment
that could only be made by someone who has never
attempted to wash his car using noodles. |
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//I don't think it would necessarily suck up all the
sauce.// |
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I don't think his concern is the lack of sauce on the
food as a result, I think it's the amount of sauce
gumming up the mechanism. |
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Maybe not a labour-saving device but it could
certainly revolutionise nosepicking, I would venture. |
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//And then there's the cleaning of the device. Not really a labor saver.// That is achieved most simply here: "The vacuum pump automatically reverses, then delivers a short blast of compressed air to achieve the resulting cleaning action." Mr Dyson is most thorough. |
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There is, as always, a better way. |
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What is needed is a heavily-insulated metal
chopstick and an extremely-high-voltage generator. |
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