Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pierced-cheek Vacuum Tube Fitting

For croissant eating
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If one were to constantly inhale while one was eating a flakey croissant, many of the flakes, that may have otherwise have fallen to the floor or onto one's neckerchief, will instead be sucked into one's mouth, although some may then also be sucked into one's lungs.

To avoid this possibility, one might pierce one's cheek and wear therein a circular metal ring with a one way valve that would constitute one half of a magnetic vacuum tube fitting of the same kind as they use in dentist's office to clear saliva from the mouth.

For extra points a mechanical contraption could be configured that would use the motion of the jaw to drive a small negative bellows that would provide a sucking force.

Y voila, less mess, more crumby goodness for me.

JesusHChrist, Mar 04 2015

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       The alternative is to simply blow out instead of sucking in. Admittedly, you lose a few percent of your croissant, but the mess isn't incriminatingly close to you.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2015
  

       It would change the way you played wind instruments. Instead of an embouchure, you would use some sort of screw-threaded attachment. To have one in each cheek would be of great benefit to a one-man band.
pertinax, Mar 06 2015
  

       mildly disappointed this didn't the cheery red glow of a 12AX7 viewed through a transparent or open port.
FlyingToaster, Mar 06 2015
  
      
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