Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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NW Passage UFO Detector

Recent reports of Unidentified Floating Objects are cause for sex
  (+2, -8)(+2, -8)
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I was talking to my neighbour the other day, he has a job hauling fertilizer up north in a big diesel truck , and he was saying that some Eskimo bros. had spotted some big unidentified metal objects poking up through six feet of ice, in Canada's sovereign waters without Canada's permission. This is an act of war but Canada's defence minister is nice about it while other defence ministers are not.

My neighbour and I were trying to figure out a deterrent. We can set up metal detectors for large objects, lining up along the NW Passage and as soon as a UFO is detected, dog sleds can haul a live sex show over there with the famous Kokanee Valley girls and we'll send video tapes of the sailors conduct to their mothers.

My neighbour said he could haul the travelling sex show with his deisel truck full of fertilizer because it would have more traction in the snow.

Ok, sexy sirens from the fifties but in this cold, at their age, that many clothes they won't take off, eh?

mensmaximus, Jan 12 2005

What a UFO looks like http://www.cnn.com/.../nuclear.submarine/
You can't blow 'em up, They're atomicized. [mensmaximus, Jan 13 2005]

Kokanee Glacier Girl http://vancouver.ci...okanee04/index2.asp
Almost famous, but quite hot [zen_tom, Jan 13 2005]

[link]






       Sirens, surely.
Shz, Jan 12 2005
  

       but if u see the northern lights, if you whistle at them they dance and shit. cool. and the Kokanee girls, I know them, and their mothers already have all their tapes. and shit
xrayTed, Jan 13 2005
  

       Big oranges jumping in backwards as the mist rises. Throw them! Throw them!
david_scothern, Jan 13 2005
  

       Ok, I'm confused.
How do we find out their mothers' home adressess?
Who are the Kokanee girls?
Are they old ladies from the fifties?
If they are, why would sailors want to have sex with them?
Is the fertiliser truck also the stage for the sex show?
Wouldn't old ladies writhing around in manure be enough of a deterrant in itself?
zen_tom, Jan 13 2005
  

       Is this the location of the Red Room? Sometimes, my arms bend backwards.
[ sctld ], Jan 13 2005
  

       hardly a 'cause' for sex...
DaveW-H, Jan 13 2005
  

       "Das Booty" travelling sex show / national defense initiative coming to your (500,000 sq mile) neighborhood soon!
JungFrankenstein, Jan 13 2005
  

       As my mother warned me in the fifties, '"The Amish have a saying, " 'I' before 'E', especially in 'diesel truck with sirens' " '".
FarmerJohn, Jan 13 2005
  

       [Frank], I feel like we have been stiched together by the same hands or at least shared the same table. I remember seeing you in cold storage once, glad to see your thoughts have cleared. Run with this 'idee brillant' to the closest category for it. The red lights, the sweaty faces, going down, coming up. I remember the experience.   

       [FJ], last time I was pulled over by a spell checker, I got life less a day. Perhaps I'll edit copy correct to a little place downtown, down a dark alley, up three flights of stairs next time, instead of in public.
mensmaximus, Jan 13 2005
  

       //Ok, sexy sirens from the fifties//   

       I meant sexy Sirens from 10th century BC. You know, the ones that lured ships and sailors to their death with their singing (Odyssey XII). I like older women, especially nymphs.
Shz, Jan 13 2005
  
      
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