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Nasal Fireworks

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This is quite a simple and modest proposal, for a range of fireworks which can be safely inserted into one or both nostrils before lighting. The fireworks themselves would be of the "fountain" type, and shaped to ensure that the fountain of sparks is emitted at a nose-safe and lip-safe angle. Moustaches may pose a challenge.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2019

Nobody would ever be stupid enough to... https://www.youtube...watch?v=JkUVQpTCshU
...oh, wait... [doctorremulac3, Feb 16 2019]

[link]






       I can see the courtroom now. Attorney for the plaintiff: "Mr Buchanan, you are the inventor of the "Snoot Shooter" nasal pyrotechnic device are you not?"   

       They still wear those adorable little curly wigs over there? Gosh those are sweet. A grown man wearing one of those could not be cuter.   

       [+]
doctorremulac3, Feb 16 2019
  

       //They still wear those adorable little curly wigs over there? // I believe they still do at some levels of the judiciary, rather like your president. You'll find it easier to understand once your country has been around for a thousand years or so and picked up a little history.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2019
  

       Actually he wears a ceremonial comb-over but well played. According to the Marquess of Queensberry rules I left myself open for that one. Or is it Marquis de Sade rules? I get those guys mixed up. All a bunch of fancy lads in my book.
doctorremulac3, Feb 16 2019
  

       // I get those guys mixed up. //   

       Easily done.   

       As to the idea ... not exactly Baked, but there has been a certain amount of impromptu research in the field.   

       The results were not encouraging.
8th of 7, Feb 16 2019
  

       Snuff.. I mean sneeze activated. I am imagining a powder block, while compact is inert but once given enough dry space gives a luminescent ignition.   

       Won't work with a cold.
wjt, Feb 17 2019
  

       You know you could very easily and safely do a "smoke" version of this that's activated by blowing through your nose. Be a good way to emphasize something or show belligerence.
doctorremulac3, Feb 17 2019
  

       [doctorremulac3] Coloured vaping? water soluble and a low level white cell production activator.
wjt, Feb 17 2019
  

       // Be a good way to emphasize something //   

       Such as "you are an exhibitionist with little or no grasp of the consequences of your actions, your only TV viewing is 'Jackass', and your ambition is to be given a Darwin Award (posthumously)" ?
8th of 7, Feb 17 2019
  

       //Coloured vaping?//   

       Has to have been thought of no?   

       //Be a good way to emphasize something// // Such as you are an exhibitionist with little or no grasp of the consequences of your actions//   

       I'm seeing marketing gold here.
doctorremulac3, Feb 17 2019
  

       I think we could get Donald* to be the face of our marketing campaign. Just imagine if he could call Kim** "rocket man" and, to emphasize his point, tilt his head back and shoot flames from his nostrils.   

       *Trump, not Duck
**Jong Un, not Kardashian
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2019
  

       I'd be more interested to see the "duck" and "Kardashian" interchange.
doctorremulac3, Feb 17 2019
  

       //a thousand years of history//   

       Here we call it 'baggage.'   

       Perhaps some of those pop rocks up your nose could give a bit of a kick without all of the pyrotechnics?
RayfordSteele, Feb 17 2019
  

       //I'd be more interested to see the "duck" and "Kardashian" interchange.// Hmm. I'd never had you pegged as an intellectual elitist until now.   

       //a bit of a kick without all of the pyrotechnics// But it's the pyrotechnics that are the point.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2019
  

       //Hmm. I'd never had you pegged as an intellectual elitist until now.//   

       Yea, and I right pretty good to. Long as I've got spellcheck on I'm unstoppable.
doctorremulac3, Feb 17 2019
  

       I have drawings for a series of photographs on topic of smoking belly buttons. A small insulating crucible protects the belly button from the heat of the source (smouldering incense) but I'm open to other suggestions It's not an idea I would post here, but thought I might ask.
xenzag, Feb 17 2019
  

       Listen [xen], if you're trying to out-weird everyone here .... er, you're doing pretty well, actually.   

       // I'm seeing marketing gold here. //   

       ... but probably not smelling it, because of all the burn damage in your nasal passages.
8th of 7, Feb 17 2019
  

       I'm conservative. I shun physical attention, I'm uncomfortable signing autographs and don't like being complimented so I wouldn't be the type to stuff pyrotechnic devices up my nose to get people to look at me. I like seeing stuff I create satisfying a need but other than that I'm very happy being anonymous.   

       That being said, somebody could sell "Dragon Smoke" nose puffers or something. Just not to me.
doctorremulac3, Feb 17 2019
  

       I like this.   

       I don't get hay fever as such, but occasionally suffer from protracted and explosive sneezing fits, where people rather concernedly, yet redundantly, ask me, "Are you alright?" to which I can only reply with an upraised hand as I anticipate the next oncoming, ear shattering volley that I am, indeed, not "alright."   

       So the very idea of a pyrotechnic and loud, colourful demonstration that so energetically displays my diisposition at these times, I applaud. People may then stop telling me, "You may be allergic to House Mites, cranberry juice, etc." or some such nonsense.   

       I'd rather discover an allergy to cordite. Bring on the nasal bangs 'n' booms.
saker, Feb 18 2019
  
      
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