Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Nessie location device

See through the waters.
  [vote for,

Xray backscatter technology exists and is extremely cool - check the link. In a normal xray, rays pass through a heterogenous mass, are blocked to varying degrees, and strike film on the far side, making what is basically a silhouette. Backscatter images are formed by shooting an xray at a mass then comprising the image from rays which are reflected to different degrees - the same as our eye does with visible light. One can look through vehicles like Superman using these devices. They are marketed to screen for bombs, contraband, etc.

Xrays penetrate water better than visible light. Xray lasers probably penetrate even better as the beams are coherent. Why not combine xray laser technology with backscatter image generation to make a device which could search the depths of Loch Ness and detect any monster there? If all the floating schmutz caused trouble, perhaps the image generating algorithm could be designed to filter out scatter consistent with moss chunks or whatever that stuff is. It may be necessary to build a receiver along the lines of an xray radiotelescope for picking up reflections from things that were a mile or more away.

This sort of device might have other uses as well - finding downed planes, drowned bodies, pirate booty etc.

bungston, Nov 21 2002

Backscatter image generation http://www.as-e.com/
[bungston, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

X-ray lasers http://www.llnl.gov...urces/RS-C_XRL.html
[bungston, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

they have been down there with submarines.. http://www.scotland...ch-ness-monster.htm
... and all sorts of nifty shit technology and gadgetry. personally I think it has a secret escape route to the sea and just pops up occasionally to scare the shit out of newbies - or is that someone else? [po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

The Family Ness http://www.familyness.co.uk/index2.htm
(Click on Nessies).
I don't see 'flamebroiledbrainess' here. I think you have made that one up, [blissmiss]. [Jinbish, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

A rare sharp image. http://bz.pair.com/fun/croissanessie.jpg
With the creature apparently looking right at the camera, there's no chance this is rocks or rubber. (29Kb image) [bristolz, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       I thought the National Enquirer located Nessie ages ago.
snarfyguy, Nov 21 2002

       I can't believe someone hasn't tried this already.
dalek, Nov 21 2002

       //This sort of device might have other uses as well - finding downed planes...// or Russian subs
FarmerJohn, Nov 21 2002

       Yes! We'll find the Loch Ness Monster and EAT it!
snarfyguy, Nov 21 2002

       Thats gonna be a lot of sushi.   

       Or a lot of lochs and bagels.
FarmerJohn, Nov 22 2002

       April 1, 1934
thumbwax, Nov 22 2002

       [po] You may be right about the escape route. One drunken New Year my dad managed to convince my sister that a submarine on the West coast of Scotland could submerge and then travel underneath the mainland to reach the East coast. He cited several (very) deep lochs that we (allegedly) haven't been to the bottom of as evidence - Loch Ness being one of them. My drunken sister fell for it hook line and sinker.
Jinbish, Nov 22 2002

       Systematic depth charging. That'd do it. Yup.
8th of 7, Nov 22 2002

       I would like to point out that, unlike some of the more violent ideas here, the xray laser scheme could also be used to search the open ocean for Nessies larger, seafaring cousins. Arguably a depth charge could get them too, but there is a lot of ocean to hide in, and presumably a finite number of depth charges.
bungston, Nov 25 2002

       Wow... I dreamed about something like this. Only not quite as logistically put, of course. nly in my dream, Nessie was pissed and proceeded to sic her young on Loch Ness and ran off and eloped with Godzilla (who was hiding in there with her as her lover until we humans had to screw things up).
flamebroiledgoodness, Nov 25 2002

       'flamebroiledbrainess'? (see link)
Jinbish, Nov 26 2002


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