Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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No Holds Barred January Sales

Come and have a shop if you think you're hard enough
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As an inquisitive but frightened onlooker to this years sales I noticed an almost shark like frenzy of shoppers in a 'bargain bucket' of scarves. You could see the pained expressions of those that had lost out on the last fuchia coloured scarf. Their desire to wrench the scarf from the new owner and punch them in the face was quite apparent in the hawk-eyed look of daggers exchanged between protagonists.

Inspired by this, I propose a more gladiatorially based approach: Let it be survival of the fittest - let those that have the most desire lay claim to the bargains! A simple law such as whomever swipes the price tag over the cash register may claim the prize. Obviously the well armoured store 'attendants' will ensure that things don't go to far (very serious injury or death) and stop those from entering with clearly murderous intent: "That top was to *die* for"

There are no hard and fast scenarios here but I envisage a pit-like arena with viewing galleries around the top. The area is bright and airy, with lots of frosted glass and beech finished tops - its all very chic. There are resplendent banners in bright crimson (blood red) emblazoned with "Sale", "Massive Reductions" and "50% off" signs. There are 4 doors, each with iron portcullis

In the centre of the pit is a single 'bargain bin' with a number of scarce, "great value" items. A number of cleats are recessed into a part of the wall lead up to about 8 feet. This is so that one may climb and reach a small barcode scanning device. the gladiat...er... shoppers must pass the price tag over this.

The game continues until all price tags are swiped across the scanner or all participants have retired (voluntarily or not).

My money is on the swarthy girl with the spiked handbag!

Jinbish, Dec 29 2004

Charge of the Credit Brigade http://f6.grp.yahoo...YJZuZSI/Brigade.txt
Parody of Lord Tennyson's poem. (Consul Flaminicus quite rightly decried the lack of mention of Cardigans - I'll fix it) [Jinbish, Dec 29 2004]


       I know its not January yet but what with the rampant capitalist consumer mad society we live in today the post-Christmas sales are most definitely on. Indeed, many shops had their post-Christmas January sales in the week before Christmas. I guess that makes them pre-post-Christmas January sales... but I digress.
Jinbish, Dec 29 2004

       Anarchy. Baked.
yabba do yabba dabba, Dec 29 2004


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