Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Non-stick Velcro

Because that hooky stuff just sticks to everything
  [vote for,

Trying to make some seat covers today and needed Velcro to seal the edges so the covers can be taken off e.g. to wash them. But Velcro hooks hook onto many other fabrics and soft furnishings, so how about inventing a Velcro that doesn't stick to everything? I mean, I know Velcro doesn't stick to everything but I think ever since it hit the big time what with sticking pet dogs to walls, space stations and whatnot, it's just got too sticky for its own good. It's really annoying when you're trying to sew it on to something else and the stuff is sticking to your sleeves and just generally going where it shouldn't go and then you've got to be really careful how you peel it off else it takes a chunk of lint with it.

I tried to take the cover off another cushion that had been sealed for some time and found it just about welded shut. This stuff is clingy like an annoying friend. You know the sort. I mean like they're you're friends and all but once they've hooked on to you you just can't shake 'em off! But - I digress.

*UPDATED to approximately minimum standard baked x 0.5*

A scale of sticky/hookiness, somewhat akin to Mohs scale of hardness or Richter's scale of earthquakiness is what we need, with corresponding velcros to suit. I think therein lies the detail to which xenzag refers. It ought to be possible to design the hooks to be of varying springyness, via a combination of length, curvature and material, such that the Velcro could be more suited to the task at hand, not 'one velcro fits all'.

Following on from the thinkery of half-bakerist beanangel (see below) the more clever among you might be able to design a digital locking 'switched nano-hook' which, when in 'zero' mode would be as harmless and non-sticky as paper, but could then be 'switched on' to lock it, or indeed via fuzzy-logic programming, could engage itself in a number of angles/patterns in which varying levels of stickiness were achieved (I hope the nice chaps at Velcro are taking note because I have absolutely rolled off the flight deck here).

To all you Velcro lovers out there, I'm sorry. The time has come to cut down on the awesome stickiness of this stuff. Let us return to an age where Velcro was user-friendly and easy-peel. I want my soft and fluffy cushions to be firmly yet politely sealed - not nailed down and Chubb-locked. Or something.

And so I say to the vaunted millions of my trusted fellow half- bakerists - what thinkest thou?

p.s. hey I just noticed that in bigsleep's comment below, the words 'separate the two bits' are exactly above/below each other. I think that's just brilliant. Just like two bits of matching Velcro. How did they do that?

Notes, Dec 21 2016

Dan Ariely about pealing off bandages https://www.youtube...watch?v=NIRjYBX_9ls
His tank was hit and burned during operation "Peace to Gallilee" - the 1st Israeli war on Lebanon in 1982 [pashute, Dec 22 2016]

As mentioned in the anno Two_20Cups_20Of_20Coffee
Be sure to read the post from top to bottom and, to be sure, from bottom to top in case you've missed anything. [whatrock, Dec 24 2016]

Joyous https://youtu.be/BwvBEcyGy-M
Half Genius, half bobbins, all Frank [Notes, Jan 09 2017]


       Sorry I was just wondering what happened when you hit 'annotate'. I'm new here.
Notes, Dec 21 2016

       Welcome, [Notes]! This is your best idea so far.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 21 2016

       Thank you sir, for throwing that crust my way! I must sleep now, perchance to dream up other half-baked ideas. Gosh all this thinking is hard work. Given the choice I would not normally do this.
Notes, Dec 21 2016

       //Given the choice I would not normally do this.//   

csea, Dec 21 2016

       I thought you might mean sort of physically digital velcro that had like 3/4 cotter pins with different numbers of wobbles so that it would only velcro to a cush pad with digital-like similarity. Velcro that only sticks to its preferred surface.
beanangel, Dec 21 2016

       Welcome to the place where all things dance forward as the music plays in reverse, or is that the other way round? How about describing how this new type of velcro works, as what is here is simply a problem being stated?
xenzag, Dec 21 2016

       //Welcome to the place where all things dance forward as the music plays in reverse   

       It does?
not_morrison_rm, Dec 21 2016

       Does it?   

       If all the players of both teams and the soccer ball were covered with Velcro, soccer would be a very different game.
popbottle, Dec 21 2016

       Doesn't it?   

       Reminds me of those medical dressings which are difficult to take off, a painful example of gauze and effect.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 21 2016

       ^ If you don't just rip it off then it's "gauze and effete".
FlyingToaster, Dec 21 2016

       Yes, welcome [Notes].   

       You are expected to, when possible, give us some detail as to how your dream becomes reality.   

       I'll wager there's an ISO standard someplace that dictates how sticky velcro can be, and denominates assorted grades from epoxy-like to released by a cool breeze.
normzone, Dec 22 2016

       This is clearly just a 'wish there was this' and not actually an idea, unless the poster describes how it works........ I wish there was a washing machine that used no water; sewed my socks, before making breakfast and feeding the gibbons.
xenzag, Dec 22 2016

       Gosh is it morning already? Gosh look at all these replies, and there was me thinking the half-bakery was but a corner-shop affair full of tinkering artisans. If we could assemble ourselves into some sort of vaguely organised coherent entity we could rule the world!   

       We could rule half the world.   

       We could half-rule the world.   

       I'll let you think about this. Meanwhile, thank you for your valued inputs. In no particular order, but staarting from nearly the top: csea: is "marking something for tagline" a good thing, or am I now a marked half-baker?   

       beanangel: no, I mean Velcro that does not weld itself shut with all the vehemence of a Nurse Shark, so that one tends to require a crowbar to remove it. But that is an interesting solution which might indeed solve certain problems. I bow to your clearly superior nollidge of cotter pins.   

       xenzag: thankyou for enlightening me to h-b protocols with which I am slowly becoming familiar. It seems my idea is but quarter-baked, and thus barely worthy of the highly steamed ovens of any respectable half bakery. I am humbled.   

       not morrison rm: I would suggest that things dance sideways as the music also plays sideways - but in the other direction, like a somewhat masochistic line dance. We are getting somewhere away from where we were, at least.   

       popbottle: that would be just plain silly and I love it!   

       normzone: That, perhaps, is the solution that the world's velcroists have yet to patent, for I have yet to discover any more than two forms of velcro: that which weldeth solid, and that which is not velcro. A scale of sticky/hookiness, somewhat akin to Mohs scale of hardness or Richter's scale of earthquakiness is what we need, with corresponding velcros to suit. I think therein lies the detail to which xenzag refers. It ought to be possible to design the hooks to be of varying springyness, via a combination of length, curvature and material, such that the Velcro could be more suited to the task at hand, not 'one velcro fits all'.   

       If this does not bring me up to the minimum apprentice level required of the vaunted arch-half-bakerists, it would appear I am doomed to walk the perimeter of broken dreams, ne'er to tread the hallowed halls of half-mastery :-(   

       bigsleep: by jove I think you've got something there. No idea how you could develop it but I'm with you all the way. Wait - make that half the way.   

       Thank you all for your fascinating peregrinations.
Notes, Dec 22 2016

       Ah, I see what you've done there, [notes]. What you've done is to actually read the annotations. An easy mistake to make as a novice, but most unbakerly. There are 3 accepted ways to deal with annotations here on the HB:   

       (1) Ignore them completely, and plough on with some vaguely relevant theme of your own.
(2) Pick one annotation at random, and take from it a single phrase out of context. Become outraged by this phrase, and segue onto the topic of gun control or vegetarianism.
(3) Use one of the annotations as a pretext to launch into a mildly amusing (and usually fictitious) anecdote, preferably involving a highly contrived pun which then becomes the basis for your next post.

       Strategies which combine two of these three elements are generally well-received. Combining all three is generally regarded as a bit too clever.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 22 2016

       //generally regarded as a bit too clever.//   

       An appellation which [MB] has always rigorously avoided. A belated "Welcome" to [Notes].
AusCan531, Dec 22 2016

       I blame trump. This place is about to implode.
po, Dec 22 2016

       From a home distilling forum I am wont to haunt -   

       " Since this experiment worked I'm now going to find a different way to make some more mistakes "
normzone, Dec 22 2016

       Welcome [Notes], from the kinder, gentler side of the bakery, this side, where life is nothing but sunshine and flowers, all of the time. Don't mind the others, they are harmless, except, of course, when it comes to grammar and spelling. Beware, they will turn on you and eat your young. Have a great visit, your idea made me laugh.
blissmiss, Dec 22 2016

       I'm still waiting for the poster to outline his/her idea, otherwise the mfd marker will have to be deployed, as in devoid of an idea..... we are waiting, waiting, and the gibbons grow restless for an actual idea.....
xenzag, Dec 22 2016

       x-z, breathe, maintain your posture and wait patiently.
blissmiss, Dec 22 2016

       //photoshopping an orange wig onto a photo of a pooh flinging monkey. They are all increments   

       sp. excrements
not_morrison_rm, Dec 22 2016

       Unleash the choir of para-gibbons!! Across no-man's land they came, equipped with weapons of mass entanglement (in this case these being the dastardly portable knitting machines that would win the day at the battle of Ikea) No flimsy hooked velcro cushions stood a chance as they were quickly enveloped with brightly coloured knitted tartan waistcoats, festooned with garish depictions of the actual event of the triumphant gibbons storming the soft furnishing isles. The obedient washing machines, that had remained dormant until now, began to prepare breakfast for the victorious primates.
xenzag, Dec 23 2016

       Hi [Notes]. I'm not the cleverist among these clever 'bakers, but please don't listen to everything [MB] tells you...I dare to even say he means well, but he might.
I'm not voting on this idea because I just woke up and don't think well until I've had some coffee...later then.
xandram, Dec 23 2016

       Welcome, [Notes]. This reminds me of something ...
pertinax, Dec 23 2016

       Good evening chaps, and thank you once again for your many and fascinating streams of semi-consciousness - most appropriate to respected half-bakerists. But hark, I hear a sleigh bell tinkle, for 'tis the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature is stirring, not even my computer mouse. Thus I must hie to bed, hang my stocking and hope that flowers and wondrous things are strewn your way, not monkey poo.   

       After Christmas, if you have been good, I will return to this debate and see if I can answer your many queries, and maybe together we can improve on an already vastly improved idea. Till then, God rest ye, merry gentlemen! Let us strive for a better world in 2017, or at least a half- decent one, maybe one in which Velcro works like what you want it to (amen).
Notes, Dec 24 2016

       // Let us strive for a better world in 2017, or at least a half- decent one //   

       Hey, you got any more of that stuff you're smoking ? Sounds like it's real quality ...
8th of 7, Dec 24 2016

       mmm. thinkery.
bungston, Dec 24 2016

       Merry New Year, all you wondrous annotatorters. It is now the thirteenth night, thus no longer Xmas. I have a cold which has confined me to my bed. I am feeling better enough, half-better you might say, to answer your queries and such now. Thus:   

       Maxwell: I understand your concerns and will henceforth try not to be anything more than half- clever. I have always felt it would be rude not to respond to inspired replies; a polite response deserves a polite response. Talking of vegetarianism, that reminds me of a mildly amusing (and possibly fictitious) anecdote - but perhaps with your gentle advice ringing in my ears I will not relate it here. Please bear with me whilst I tune-in to the wavelength of this universe.   

       AusCan531: thank you for your kind welcome.   

       po: you appear to be following Maxwell's 'response rule' No.1 but I think you may be right!   

       normzone: Don't go away just yet, tomorrow I will re-invent the glass drum.   

       blissmiss: I think your half of the bakery is where I want to be. Fear ye not, usually I'm quite god about gammar and spolling. May an army of flowers brighten your sunny path.   

       xenzag: You will have to edumacate me kind sir, as to what I have omitted. Is my idea still not yet outlined with clarity enough that even the most unenlightened macaque would not at least be tempered in his flingery? I assure you, no primates were harmed in the concoction of this half-idea.   

       bigsleep appears to agree with me (thank jolly frogs someone does I would hate to think I had wasted your time when there is important half- baking still unfinished).   

       xandram: Good morning sir, and don't forget to vote. We all know what happens when people don't vote.   

       pertinax: Thankyou. Perhaps you should visit vague.com some day.   

       8th of 7: I smoke no more than the weeds of human community in all its variety, in the hope of one day creating a perfect blend where we all live in harmony and creative juice.   

       bungston: yes indeed and without thinkering there would be no tinkering!
Notes, Jan 07 2017

       Is there a fiber that curls when electricity passes through it? And we make the hook side out of that, and turn on the juice when we want it to attach? Or the opposite.
Voice, Jan 07 2017

       //Is there a fiber that curls when electricity passes through it?//   

       Now that, [Voice], is a truly cool idea. I think it would be very difficult to implement exactly as you describe, but you could probably make hooks that un-hookify at elevated temperatures, using the equivalent of a tiny bimetal. Put some heater elements in the backing tape and - gadulka! - electric velcro!
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 07 2017


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