Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Nose breathing scuba regulator

Keep mask clear and grimace freely!
  [vote for,

Superspies and the like would probably do more underwater stuff if you did not look like such a big lipped goon with that regulator stuffed in your mouth. Plus it is hard to make any facial expressions with that thing, except maybe winking.

BUNGCO has devised a regular which pipes the O into your face mask. Breathe through your nose, with the added benefit that the superdry air from your tank also purges your mask of any fog as it passes thru. The trick - you must exhale thru your mouth (unless you are clearing your mask). But with no encumbering regulator crammed in your gob you can bubble thru pursed lips like you are kissing the Sea Goddess, or bring along a pipe and nod knowingly as you exhale a cloud of bubbles.

Also for you movie spies, the camera can catch all your kung fu gurning grimaces as you fight sea ninjas! Careful of the big dude with the bangsticks!

bungston, Jan 13 2016


       Nice. Now I can bring snacks.   

       <later edit>
Bubble-gum, definitely bubble-gum. y'know... just to help with the ear popping.

       Full face masks are fully baked
theircompetitor, Jan 13 2016

       / Full face masks are fully baked /   

       Let's see you /bring along a pipe and nod knowingly as you exhale a cloud of bubbles/ wearing a full face mask, theircompetitor. The point of this is to leave your mouth out to do mouth things.
bungston, Jan 13 2016

       [+] I'd like the Tom Selleck Moustache model.
FlyingToaster, Jan 13 2016

       //Full face masks are fully baked//   

       Aha, but this is a half face mask.
mitxela, Jan 14 2016

       Left half or right half ?   

       Very few human faces exhibit up/down symmetry, but are by and large left/right mirrored. So if you want "half" a face (two equal portions) then the split needs to be left/right not top/bottom.
8th of 7, Jan 14 2016

       oh, you actually mean the lower part of your face is open to the water? That carries a meaningful risk of drowning.
theircompetitor, Jan 14 2016

       [theircom], I am pretty sure that a properly-trained, intensively-skilled diver could remember not to open their mouth underwater.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 14 2016

       Well, the men maybe ....
8th of 7, Jan 14 2016

       //Nose breathing ...//   

       This will never catch on in Norfolk.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 14 2016

       Did you know you can safely throw up through the regulator and keep breathing? Comes in handy if you burst an eardrum and your vestibular system goes into shock.
theircompetitor, Jan 14 2016

       How do you decide whose regulator to throw up through?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 14 2016

       Let me take a quick look at yours, Max. It will help me decide.
bungston, Jun 27 2016

       I enjoy cracking open a sea urchin, taking the regulator out of my mouth and eating uni at about sixty-five foot depth. Plus every fish wants to be your friend.
normzone, Jun 27 2016

       If you're that desperate for friends, you probably need to seriously reconsider quite a few of your lifestyle choices...
8th of 7, Jun 27 2016


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