Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Trying to contain nuts.

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Nursery Rhymes for kids

Revised to be in tune with Modern Times
(+3, -3)
  [vote for,

I set the ball rolling with:

A mouse he would a-browsing go
Whether his motherboard let him or no

and retire to the stands.

neelandan, Dec 13 2001

(?) Cartoon. Same joke. http://paulneil.bla-bla.com/pic750.html
[jutta, Dec 13 2001]

Collection of stanzas. Similar joke. http://www.gemele.c...n_nursury_rhyme.htm
Anticlimax ending rather than ha-ha Computers. [jutta, Dec 13 2001]

For neelandan: "The owl and the pussy cat" http://www.glasswin...giggle/owlpuss.html
Unlike [arora]'s annotation, it doesn't involve text messages. [cp, Dec 15 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]

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       Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To upgrade their Nokia handsets.
Jack came down,
And typed around,
So he could send Jill a quick text.
Aristotle, Dec 13 2001

       Boys and girls come out to play, the moon doth shine as bright as day, Leave your cubicle and leave your sleep, join your mates on Bakers Street, Come with a whoop and come with a call, Come with a fishbone or not at all, Up the ladder and down the wall, Flocking road cones will serve us all; you find the custard and vagina jam, and we'll have a croissant and loads of spam.
po, Dec 13 2001

       The owl and the fussy cat went to sea on a beautiful pod green boat, They took some money and 'slices of honey', wrapped up in a fifty quid note, The owl hooked up to the network above, and text'd in a romantic way, O lovely cat, oh cat my love, what a beautiful cat I say, I say What a beautiful cat I say.
arora, Dec 13 2001

       <umpire's hat> fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
jutta: enjoyed those links, but I'd have difficulty reading them to a five year old.
UB: couldn't place the original.
po: For kids! (title changed). Sorry about that, but my intention was to have a load of rhymes ready for small kids - side by side with the originals.
arora: thanks, but same comment.
Ari: You've hit the nail on the head!
neelandan, Dec 15 2001

       I can't remember the name of the song that Una's parodying, but it sounds vaguely familiar, and I'm sure I could have named it when I was 6 years old (-:   

       See link for the poem "owl and the pussy cat" that [arora] altered.
cp, Dec 15 2001

       teddy bears picnic <UB's unfinished rhyme>
po, Dec 15 2001

       I can't believe you have nothing better to do. Are you just practising on us?
angel, Dec 17 2001

       Humpty Dumpty sat in a mall.
Humpty Dumpty had a speedball.
All the king's dollars and all the king's dimes,
Couldn't get Humpty to E.R. in time.
Guy Fox, Dec 17 2001

       Humpty Dumpty rode a fast car,
Humpty Dumpty had a great smash.
All the world's surgeons
And super glue
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty
Together Again.
neelandan, Dec 17 2001

       Doctor Foster culled half of Gloucester
With morphine administered like rain
He slipped up one summer
got caught - what a bummer
Now in jail, never to be seen again.
lewisgirl, Dec 17 2001

Come little Johnny, come to me
Let me hear your Q W E

Now you heard my Q W E
Tell me what you think of me

Very good, Johnny, Very good.
neelandan, Jan 05 2002

thumbwax, Jan 05 2002


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